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June 1, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen | 0 Comments
Tiger Woods blond stylist girlfriend Kristin Smith, who looks suspiciously like Woods’ ex-wife and nineteen of the one hundred pros he fucked during that same marriage, caused a stir when her response to Woods being arrested for DUI was to go deep retail shopping. It’s the blond booty call playbook. She wasn’t even in Florida. Was she supposed to rend her garments? Even Woods isn’t one-eighth Jewish.
There’s a moral debate raging as to how much embarrassing non-newsworthy celebrity video content we need aired in public. Something to ponder while watching Woods flunk a field sobriety test like a cheerleader forced to take Trig. The mustache and prematurely bald cap coverup completes the picture of a man going horribly wrong. The notion that prescription pain killers are distinctly more aristocratic than street drugs went out the door a decade ago. When Rush Limbaugh was busted chewing Oxy like candy. In addition, he was chewing a lot of candy.
If Woods doesn’t turn this around soon, he ends up like Buttermaker, open containers strewn across his convertible coaching a team of misfit kid golfers from the wrong side of the tracks. Or, substantially better than he’s doing currently.
Photo Credit: Splash News