EVA LONGORIA HAS A SEX TAPE. MAYBE.

According to new reports out this morning, Eva Longoria might be the latest celebrity to have a sex tape leak out.  The Sun UK says:

Rumours have been rife on the web that the saucy video exists and contains intimate scenes featuring the Desperate Housewives beauty and her NBA star hubby TONY PARKER.Latest reports from the States suggest the video HAS made its way online, but only on paid for sites.

Downloading porn is a big part of my writing process, but I cant find this thing.  I did find that porn is the greatest industry in the world though, because not only is wildly offensive racism tolerated, it's celebrated.  Like movies about Latin girls, like Longoria, can all have themes where the girls are maids and you can say things like, I gotta churro you can lick bitch.  And you can take Asian girls, no matter where they're from, and dress them up like geisha's and put chopsticks in their hair.  I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that kind of thing isn't tolerated outside of porn.  I dare you to go up to the hot Asian girl in your office, pull your eyes back and say, "I pay 5 dolla, you sucky sucky!"  And then grab your balls, in case there was some misunderstanding.  Go ahead.  Do it.  I have a lucky feeling.  You're getting laid, bro.