CHARLIE SHEEN IS DOING GREAT

The New York Daily News says that Charlie Sheen once paid 6,000 dollars to purchase a Real Doll, an anatomically correct sex doll, this one dressed like a cheerleader.  From there though, the story gets a little weird.

But then came the night when, according to our source, Sheen tried to get two female party companions interested in a foursome with the bouncy cheerleader."They couldn't stop laughing at him," says the snitch. "Charlie got so mad that he ran the girls out of his house. Then he took a meat cleaver and chopped one of the doll's hands off. He and his bodyguard tried to dispose of it, like it was a real body. They wrapped it in a blanket and drove around in the middle of the night till they found a Dumpster."

I'm pretty sure if I was stopped by the cops and I had a body wrapped in a blanket, I would rather it be a real little kid with no head than a one handed sex doll covered in semen and stab wounds.  You probably don't have to be Freud to guess that a dude who fucks a mannequin and then chops off it's hands might have some issues with women.  Although, to be fair, a lot of time you pay thousands of dollars for these dolls, and when they get there, only then does the doll tell you they're gay.  At least that's what mine did.