THAT GAY GUY IS DATING WHATS HER NAME

OK! magazine says (although they've since taken the article down) that Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal might have gone public with their secretive romance as they were seen yesterday holding hands and kissing.  OK says:

As the couple, who had been overseas promoting their new film Rendition, deboarded a plane yesterday, the pair were photographed holding hands and smooching.Their coupledom comes as no surprise to anyone — except perhaps Reese & Jake, who have spent a good portion of the last year denying anything other than a friendly relationship. Only last week, they both laughed off reports that they had become more than friends in recent months.

This dude should really just come out of the closet.  He's full blown gay and this vagina based treachery isn't fooling me for one second.  Is it just self loathing or what?  He has to hate himself a little if he's pushing his penis up against Reese and Kirsten Dunst.  I don't see what the big deal is.  I would totally go queer if I wasn't such a manly hunk.  Gay guys get to drive fuel efficient cars and wear tank tops, and you're rarely gonna get carjacked by a homo.  All in all, you could definitely make a decent argument that the world would be better with more gay guys.