THIS SEEMS UNLIKELY

The Telegraph UK among others are reporting today that Britney Spears has been cast as a stripper in an upcoming Quentin Tarantino movie.  I’ll spare you the details for now, but this is maybe the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.

The singer was apparently chosen by the Pulp Fiction director to play dancer Varla in a remake of the 1965 cult film Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!The movie sees three thrill-seeking strippers encountering a young couple in the desert.Spears' character murders the boyfriend with her bare hands before taking the girlfriend hostage. The troubled singer will also have sex scenes with another girl before the drama ends in a blood-bath.A source said: "Quentin is convinced Britney will be brilliant. She's delighted. She thinks it could turn her career around."It is perfect Tarantino material. He wanted to get Britney first. She's playing the most important character."

Okay, 1: this is not even the movie he’s working on right now.  He’s working on "Inglorious Bastards", which really is into the casting phase (Eli Roth is the first official cast member).  2.  Don’t think we’ve forgotten the epic fail the last time Britney played a stripper (relive the magic here).  It did not go well.  There’s nothing stripper-like about this chick anymore.  She moves on stage like a bear let loose on a campsite.