THAT TWILIGHT GUY IS TOUCHY

The print edition of Us magazine says that inexplicably popular "Twilight" star Robert Pattison was at the Improv in Hollywood when the comedian on stage made a joke about the death of Heath Ledger.  Pattinson then yelled out, "fuck you, you suck".  Because he was so offended.  As am I.  Not because of a Heath Ledger joke, but because the joke was so hacky and predictable.

“[He] booed a comic who said, “Here’s my impression of Heath Ledger,” then he collapsed and began faking convulsions. “Robert and his friend went nuts yelling at him, “ the source said.“The comic didn’t know who it was, but I’m sure he found out later!”

Oooohhhh, did he really?!?!?!  Did he really find out it was THE Robert Pattinson?!?!?!?  OMG, he must be scared to death, his career will be ruined, he crossed paths with the most amazing and powerful man in the world!?!?!  Luckily for him Pattinson will be too stoned to remember any of this.  Because he’s clearly high as fuck every single day of his life.  When you see pictures of this guy, all that’s missing is some wiggly stink lines above his head and X’s for eyes.