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Ewan McGregor Leaves Wife of 22 Years, Offers Mary Elizabeth Winstead His Lightsaber

October 25, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Being openly affectionate with other women that is not your wife in front of the camera is like the celebrity version of a bat signal telling your significant other things between us are really over.

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Gabrielle Union Rim Job Advocate

October 24, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Equal opportunity anilingus is upon us and Gabrielle Union is leading the charge. Fearless when it comes to using her tongue to speak on sexually adventurous topics or french kissing the fart box, Union is about to become the... READ MORE

Cameron Diaz Has A Homeless Woman To Thank

October 24, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Thank good for poverty. Cameron Diaz has the honesty of some woman down on her luck and without permanent residence to thank for the return of her wallet. 

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Doctor Phil Unsuccessful At Turning Tony Hawk Disciple Into Roadkill

October 24, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Dr. Phil unfortunately struck a skateboarder with his Mercedes. While going Grand Theft Auto in real life may be tempting to avoid legal liability to an injured party, it’s still against the law and American principles in that order. 

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Corey Feldman Caught With Pot

October 24, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Pretty soon moving forward movies are going to have to come with pedo-free disclaimers the same way way food products come with gluten free labels to attract customers. No child was penetrated or harmed in any way on set... READ MORE

Scarlett Johansson Definitely Tasted Bobby Flay’s Meat

October 23, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Scarlett Johansson is really getting around when it comes to dating. Her love interest more recently is leaning towards men who know their way around some meat.

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Sean Penn Couldn’t Stop Netflix Show Labeling Him El Chapo Snitch

October 23, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

How did Sean Penn get wrapped up in pointing the finger on how to find El Chapo? Like any great story involving sex, drugs, and a terrible ending, it starts with “that one time when I was in Mexico...”

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Shia LaBeouf Opts For Probation

October 23, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

How is it possible for someone to be so hardcore on camera and then not jump at the opportunity to attend a correctional vacation instead of a community service type sentencing. I’d imagine someone like Shia LaBeouf to be... READ MORE

Billy Joel Still Knocking Them Up, town Girl

October 23, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

When you’re 68 you should be looking into which retirement homes have the most comfortable furniture, not seeing if your sperm can still swim. Age didn't stop Billy Joel from making another baby. 

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Lindsay Lohan Feels Left Out

October 23, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

When all the sexual harassment victims told Lindsay Lohan she couldn’t sit with them at the #MeToo table because her harassment was so last season she took the burn book route.

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