Sofia has chosen to donate 10% of sales to impoverished women in foreign lands to start businesses. The women don't actually get to keep the money, it provides capital for loan allowances. It wasn't hard enough to live on... READ MORE

Dying sucks. Not because you don't know where you're going after you die, but because family members still won't stop bugging you in the afterlife.

Advertisements are getting artsier, and art is figurative and mostly abstract by nature. That means the oversized flowers in the backdrop are meant to represent the oversized measurements of her vagina.

How does the plant Audrey II and lead actress Rebel Wilson have the same insatiable appetite and both take up three-quarters of any room they walk into. Add... READ MORE

Life after fame is a bitch. Try to avoid peaking too early because the life to look forward to after that makes you want to die early. Mostly from embarrassment and terrible financial decisions. 

Typically I'm against PETA. The animal rights activists will randomly ruin anyone's expensive fur coat with low-quality red paint. Joe Montana Parkinson's shakes every time someone mentions them.

Maybe the silver lining in that entire situation was the dismissal of her career. Instead of gracefully bowing out, she sprinkles sore loser statements saying she was done with music either way. She claims her tunes went against her... READ MORE

The demographic interested in the fight knows how to illegally stream it while split screening Xvideos at the same time. Interracial violence is just a few free ad-sponsored clicks away in YouTube cops vs. BLM compilation videos.

Celebrities and decent parenting are water and oil. Who better to give godfather duties to than a child star who Michael Jackson once shared a bed with.

In the year 2017, they're suing Grand Theft Auto Vice City, a game that released in 2002. I have no idea where they've been, but the world is currently two generations of PlayStations past their current problem.