Ashton Kutcher posted a video today on his chime.in page because he said he wanted to open a little dialogue about honesty and the status of truth in literature. And if by “dialougue” he meant for me to call him an idiot, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
Is the video pretentious and self-serving? You know it is brother! Because all he really does is imply that the tabloids are all lying about him cheating on his wife by mumbling and completely misrepresenting an essay by this guy, whose name Ashton pronounces as “Yoda”.
In Ashtons defense that is a bad ass name for a philosopher. I’m instantly inclined to believe anything told to me by someone named Yoda.
Replacing the lead actor on a successful show can be tricky, but so far CBS has done pretty well in replacing Charlie Sheen with Ashton Kutcher on ‘Two and a Half Men’. Despite being way down from the 28 million people who watched Kutchers debut, the rating for Mondays episode still pulled in almost 14.8 million viewers. An average episode last season with Sheen averaged around 12.7 million. When Sheen heard this, he ran the blade of a knife across the palm of his hand, clinched a fist as blood dripped onto a picture of Kutcher and vowed revenge.
The good news for Ahston Kutcher is that Demi Moore finally did something to kill the rumor that their marriage is essentially over by going to the premiere of ‘Margin Call’ in New York last night with her wedding ring on. The bad news is she looks like hell, a frail bony mess. If this were a movie, putting a ring on a hand that looks like that is when the spell would be broken, and she’d go back to being hot and a rainbow would appear over the castle. Clearly this is not a movie.
There were movers at Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moores house yesterday. Does this mean they’re separating for realz? Or did some clever bastard at Wetzel and Sons simply figure out how to get some free advertising? My heart is in my throat right now from all the suspense.
So apprently Sara Leal did an interview with Us weekly as well as the Sun, and the headline from this one is that Ashton did not use a condom when he banged the stranger he just met in Vegas. Which is dumb but I hardly blame him. You could slam my dick in a car door when I have a condom on.
Sara Leal is the girl at the center of the Ashton Kutcher-Demi Moore cheating controversy, because a few months ago she was on her knees at the center of Ashton Kutcher. Well now she’s done her first interview, with the Sun, and Ashton will no doubt have mixed emotions about this. The highlights:
– he wanted a three way with her friend but that didnt happen.
– they had sex for two hours.
– he told her he was separated from Demi.
Sara said: “We had sex twice. Everything felt natural. We were having a good time. One thing led to another. He was good but it wasn’t weird or perverted or creepy. I was attracted to him and he was attracted to me.
“He had great endurance. We were up for a while. It was about two hours.”
Sara told how they fell asleep after their romp. Then Ashton congratulated himself on his conquest before she left at around 9am on Saturday, September 24 — his wedding anniversary.
Sara said: “The last thing I remember him saying was he did a good job. We woke up and I was wearing a robe. He opened it up and I was like, ‘What are you doing?’ He was like, ‘Just checking. OK, I did good! You’re really pretty.’ “
“Just checking. OK, I did good”? The fuck? That’s a pretty weird thing to say to a strange girl you banged while you were drunk. It’s like he’s been fooled before. At least he seemed happy when it turned out she was a girl, or else this interview would have taken a really weird turn.