Nick Gordon Reminiscing

January 31, 2017 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Nick Gordon took to Instagram to post some photos of his dead sister/girlfriend/wife, Bobbi Kristina Brown. He also threw in some first person conversational pillow talk, in case dead people who you helped kill look at Instagram.


Nick Gordon Can’t Pay For His Murders

November 21, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

There are a few drawbacks to marrying your loser adopted elder brother. Firstly, people tend to discuss how weird it is. This can lead you to be kind of a recluse like Woody Allen. Also, it means the guy is kind of a weirdo and might kill you.


Bobby Brown Wins $36 Million for His Dead Daughter

November 18, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

When an older drug addict dies in the bathtub in the Beverly Hilton, everybody shakes their heads and pretends they didn’t see it coming. When her daughter goes the same way for the same reason, everybody demands an investigation. Watching a twenty-year old girl die is tough, even when she’s clearly done it to herself.


Nick Gordon Filled With the Christmas Spirit

December 28, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Nick Gordon mailed out a Christmas card featuring he and a Photoshopped Bobbi Kristina Brown just as happy as a couple can be when one of them drowned in a bathtub ten months earlier. Gordon remains a suspect in Bobbi Kristina’s death and is currently facing a civil suit for her wrongful death with custodians of […]


Bobbi Kristina Brown Passes

July 27, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Bobbi Kristina Brown passed away at twenty-two after six months in a coma, surrounded by her close friends and family, more commonly known as her killers. Normally you might blame a junkie for their their own damn bath tub drowning, but when an infant is handed a crack pipe in the place of a pacifier by […]


Bobbi Kristina Encircled in Love

June 29, 2015 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Bobbi Kristina Brown’s family surrounded her in her hospice facility where she is fading out to a better elsewhere. The family is biding their time with Jumble puzzles and subtly mentioning that maybe the lawyer guy could read the will soonish as they all have plans for the Fourth. Bobby Brown’s nephew Shayne took time […]


Bobbi Kristina’s Fable Coming to an End

June 24, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Horrible people doom their kids to lives of misery all the time. It serves us well to be reminded of this when it happens to famous people. Bobbi Kristina Brown’s drug encrusted family is finally pulling the plug on her life support, their strategies in place for going after her inheritance once her heart officially stops. […]


Bobbi Kristina Ghoul Pool Warming Up

March 3, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Bobbi Kristina isn’t heading into the afterlife without the assistance of those who helped her get there. Bobby Brown’s sisters are filming a reality show about their experiences suffering through their niece’s drowning and coma. You can’t imagine their anguish. Especially when they learned they’re not getting any of Bobbi’s twenty million. Her will calls […]


Bobbi Kristina Parented to Death

February 5, 2015 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

When you’re in a family that lies incessantly about drug use, they seem to get even worse. The sole offspring of two self-obsessed snorting and smoking entertainers never stood a chance. It’s one thing when some weak willed adult picks up the pipe to face down their imagined burdens. It’s another when a kid is raised […]


Bobbi Kristina Never Had a Chance

February 3, 2015 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Being the kid of Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown is like winning the lottery where you get money but everything else in your life is supremely fucked up forever more. So, just like the regular lottery. Just for kicks, the authorities are calling Bobbi Kristina face down in a tub a cardiac arrest. Thirty-seven interested parties have quickly come […]