Bobbi Kristina Brown wants everybody who’s worried about her to take a chill pill. She has a couple in her purse if you don’t have your own. She says she just takes after her mother, Whitney Houston. That ought to ease health concerns. She was talking specifically about critcisms that she looks too skinny in recent bikini pictures she was forced to post online by the guy who looks like Thundarr the Barbarian who visits her during her psychedelic journeys.
I am my mothers child ! Have you ever heard of a #fastmetabolism? Damn, lol it’s incredible how the world will judge you 4ANY&EVERYthing.
By fast metabolism, I think she’s referring to Whitney eating only crack with diet chocolate sprinkles after 9am. Still all caps is all caps and ought be respected.
Bobbi’s new husband and sort of kind of her brother by adoption, Nick Gordon, felt obliged to take time away from his jam packed schedule of video games and nail biting to back his woman:
My baby is perfect the way she is. Y’all reporters on my shit can suck my dick. MADD cuz your bitch is a 400 pounder.
Nick’s got a point. As long as he’s not breaking his sister-wife’s bones when he’s railing her in a stupor, whose business is it if she’s skinny like her dead mom. You have to admire a man who rushes to the defense of his lady. Just thinking about the touching English language challenged poetry he’s going to recite at her funeral has me misty.
Whitney Houston believed the children were our future, teach them well and something something, but not if you’re a drug addict. Crack heads shouldn’t be teaching the children a god damn thing. But Whitney did and now her daughter Bobbi Kristina is a gap toothed idiot too.
Example: in this clip from A&E’s upcoming ‘The Houstons: On Our Own’, Kristina (19) confirms that she is engaged to Nick Gordon (22), and while his past is a bit of a mystery, we do know he was unofficially adopted by Houston when he was young and raised alongside Bobbi. So she’s essentially marrying (and fucking) her step-brother. Hot, right?
So I guess recording your step-sister in the shower and masturbating to it isn’t so weird after all, and my dad owes me an apology.
Bobbi Kristina and her pussy-whipped boyfriend went out last night and got some tattoos of doves and “WH” on their wrists in honor of today, Whitney Houston’s 49th birthday. Bobbi tweeted:
“Once it hits 12 am mommy it’s your birthday & I am going2celebrate it2thee fullest!
Bc YOU deserve it damn it, YOU deaerveNothingburtheBEST!”
Well, Whitney may or may not deaerve Nothing bur the BEST, but it’s actually not her birthday because she overdosed on drugs and now she’s dead. Does Bobbi not remember that? It was in all the papers. “BTW, I kEEpz callin U. Y U no pik up?”
As you may remember, Whitney Houston believed that the children are our future, and she wanted everyone to teach them well and let them lead the way. And clearly she did that, because the National Enquirer has a new exclusive video showing Whitneys daughter Bobbi Kristina as she leads the way to the bottom of a dime bag, and doing it with a real sense of pride!
A shocking new video shows Bobbi Kristina smoking marijuana from a three-foot-tall bong, inhaling the swirling pot smoke so deeply that she nearly collapses in a coughing fit!
Whitney’s 19-year-old daughter was partying with friends who attend college in Statesboro, Georgia in March 2011 and in the disturbing video her knowledgeable use of the bong is evident.
On the plus side Bobbi Kristina appears to have a lovely voice.
Yesterday we learned that Nick Gordon went on Twitter to publicly announce that he’s banging Bobbi Kristina, daughter of the late Whitney Houston, who also happened to be Nick’s “adoptive mother” for all intents and purposes. He then denied it exclusively to ABCNews, a move that doesn’t at all sound like someone’s shopping a story around and/or isn’t a colossal lie as proven by this video.
Now their public grab-ass session has not only confirmed any speculation about their relationship, but also royally pissed off Cissy Houston, Whitney’s mom. And with good reason. Whitney cashed in her future on some rock and a waste of life partner. Bobbi’s already got the former covered and looks to be humpin’ around on her brother. See what I did there? They’re siblings who fuck.
Turns out the greatest love of all is between sibling lovers. Well, I should qualify that by saying right off the bat that there’s no blood relation between Bobbi Kristina Brown and Whitney Houston’s “adopted” son, Nick Gordon, so really there’s nothing gross about them having grown up as siblings and now as adults deciding to have sex. Thankfully, Nick took to Twitter to confirm the relationship, via People:
Yea we got a little closer and what!!!… All the haters that dont know us or th real story can’t un follow me. I don’t give a f–k,” he tweeted. “I’ve proved my loyalty to her and the Houston family. I don’t owe any of you anything. Ha I don’t even know y’all haters….Some ppl have no lives so they gotta be in ours,” he said
If by haters, he means people who don’t particularly want to fuck their sister, adopted or otherwise, then I’ll gladly be lumped into that category. You can also put me down for “having no life” because I happen to think it’s interesting and worth talking about when someone decides to reward a celebrity’s kindness by sticking their dick in their only child and posting about it on Twitter. Ma will be so proud, I joined two clubs today! (Also, I didn’t try to bang her daughter. Can’t stress that enough.)