Charlie Sheen has been rushed to the hospital

By brendon January 27, 2011 @ 4:53 PM

charlie_sheen_two_half_men_a_l

Charlie Sheen and two of his newest lady friends were having another raucous party all last night and into the morning, aanndd now he might be dead (crossing my fingers).

Charlie Sheen was rushed to the hospital this morning, TMZ has learned … and a source at the hospital tells us, “It’s serious.”
We’re told Charlie was taken out of his home on a stretcher and loaded into an ambulance at 7 AM.
Two young women exited the house at the same time Charlie was taken out with a towel partially over his face.
Sources say Charlie was having severe abdominal pains which triggered the 911 call. Stan Rosenfield, Charlie’s publicist, tells TMZ Charlie was in the emergency room this morning — sleeping.

Gee, who knew that years of an unchecked drug addiction could have side effects? Someone really should have mentioned that.

at least Charlie Sheen can count on Jim Norton

By brendon January 20, 2011 @ 10:07 AM

jim-norton

If not for the out of control drug addiction, paranoia, violence and crime sprees, Charlie Sheen would be pretty cool. Or at least fun to hang out with. The trick is block out everything else and focus all your attention on the prostitutes and whores.

Luckily that’s what Jim Norton of the Opie and Anthony show is best at, as proven once again in todays New York Post

“As far as I’m concerned, if you make $2 million a week and you don’t have a hooker in your hotel room, you’re creepy and I don’t trust you. And I don’t do drugs at all, so for me it would just be more prostitutes. That’s how they would find me. I would be dead on the floor, flattened by a pile of prostitutes. I’d look like a cat in a hoarders’ house.”

I should probably stop having Jim Norton quotes on the page, at least in the morning, because let’s not kid each other, it’s all downhill from here. If this were a relay race, he’d have taken the lead, handed me the baton, my pants would fall down, I’d drop the baton, trip, and somehow have it go right up my ass when I fell down.

Charlie Sheen spent $26,000 on hookers in two days

By brendon January 19, 2011 @ 12:18 PM

image-c4e4_4c5aea29

Charlie Sheen would actually be kind of cool if all you heard was the sex stuff with hookers and porn stars, because let’s not kid each other that sounds awesome, but unfortunately he’s also an unstable drug addict given to fits of violence and it’s only a matter of time before he kills someone.

Until then, it’s game on, and today Radar says that, during the same weekend in Vegas that he reportedly had an orgy with three porn stars, including Bree Olson (pictured above and below) and Sandra Bullock homewrecker Michelle McGee, he also found time to spend another 26 grand on three hookers.

A drugged-up Charlie Sheen spent $26,000 on three escorts from one Las Vegas agency during his infamous weekend bender in Las Vegas.
(And he) was so smitten with one hooker who goes by the pseudonym ‘Ginger’ that he paid her $10,000 for a four-hour sex romp.
Sheen, 45, showered two other escorts with $8,000 each in separate and earlier trysts.
“Ginger said Charlie was high on cocaine when she got to the room and continued to do drugs in front of her,” the source told RadarOnline.com.
“He was totally out of it and clearly had been partying all night long.”

If the government really wants to stop people from doing cocaine, they should probably black out all the media stories that make it sound like so much fun.

CBS knows Charlie Sheen is a degenerate

By brendon January 14, 2011 @ 6:52 PM

59915181

Charlie Sheen is the star of televisions number 1 sitcom, but mostly he’s famous for being a functioning drug addict and all around piece of shit. Now, the head of CBS says she’s worried about his behavior, but as long as he eventually makes it to work and mumbles out his lines, he can rape as much coke as he wants.

“We have a high level of concern,” said Nina Tassler, CBS entertainment president. “How can we not?”
Tassler said she has given a great deal of thought to Sheen on a “human level,” but the situation can’t be viewed simplistically. The actor does his job reliably well on “Two and a Half Men,” she said.
A reporter suggested a person in a different line of work would be fired for involvement in similar incidents.
“What do you get fired for? Going to work and doing your job?” Tassler asked.

I find it hard to believe that Charlie Sheen is really worth all this trouble, but I’ve never watched that show so maybe he is. If I had my choice between watching Two And A Half Men or watching some old gay guys 69 each other, I would at least wanna know if the gay guys were in one of those really nice houses in the Hollywood Hills, because it would kind of drag me down to know that a couple of elderly queens had a nicer house than me.

Charlie Sheen had an orgy with Bree Olson

By brendon January 11, 2011 @ 12:59 PM

breeolsonns1357-3_005

When we last saw Charlie Sheen, who is the star of a CBS sitcom about raising a child, he was in Colorado threatening to murder his wife. Wait, no, my bad, he was in New York City kidnapping prostitutes. But this weekend he was in Las Vegas for the Oscars of Porn, the AVN Awards, and, long story short, he banged three porn stars at once, including Bree Olsen, and is still there even though he’s supposed to in LA today working on his TV show.

Charlie Sheen is supposed to be on the set of “Two and a Half Men” at 10 AM PT (but) TMZ has learned he’s still in Las Vegas.
Charlie’s people, as well as suits from the studio … are deeply concerned for him. We’re told Charlie’s people have been trying to get him in rehab but he doesn’t think he has a problem.

I’m not sure who the other two girls are that he was with but they need to be put on some kind of watch list. I’d rather put my dick in a komodo dragons mouth than a girl after she’d been with Charlie Sheen. Hopefully it wasn’t Asa Akira or Kristina Rose, because I plan on having sex with them, though I can’t go into the details of my plan (hint: it involves a gun).

Charlie Sheen might be cleared by his text messages

By brendon November 23, 2010 @ 1:28 PM

capri_anderson_new_york

It’s illegal to choke a girl and lock her in your hotel bathroom, unless she’s awesome and into that kind of thing. And that appears to be the case with Charlie Sheen and Capri Anderson, which would explain a lot regarding their New York City hotel room drama last month.

TMZ has gotten a few text messages the two reportedly sent one another after the incident, and they could go a long way in helping Sheen.

ANDERSON: “u trashed my brand new prada purse dude not cool – how u managed to rip the strap off and put 2 holes in it is beyond me.”
SHEEN: “All I need is an Acct number etc and I will wire u 20k if u think that will cover everything … I really feel bad, u are as cool and sexy and as sweet and fun and friendly as they get!”
SHEEN: “Don’t worry about our mutual friends, deal with me directly and I promise u kind lady, all will be restored and set straight.”

So she seems upset but not devastated, perhaps because professional prostitutes will put up with a lot because you pay them too. The key, however, is that you have to actually pay them.

The next day, after Sheen fled New York and flew home to LA, the texts continued.

SHEEN: “Just landed, perhaps we can speak tonite….?”
ANDERSON: “Yes u can call me.  I don’t have a bank account believe it or not.”
SHEEN: “Oh, well in that case, lemme put together a plan to get u square and flush.  Can u tok (sic) for a sec now sweetie?”
SHEEN: “Good news!  My asst Rick is good friends with a cat named Mark In NY, he will get the wire, cash that bitch, and deliver it to u where ever it’s convenient … I’ll get the ball Rollin in am, and have data for u asap after that…☺”
ANDERSON: “Can he leave it somewhere secure for me to pick up?  Like with a bank rep … I’m rlly nervous about all this.”
SHEEN: “Of course, whatever makes u feel better…”
SHEEN: “Lemme start that ball Rollin and I’ll get back to u with the details…”

It’s not clear why but Anderson was never paid. More than likely because it was one day later and Sheen had gotten high again, punched out some more hookers, and long forgotten who Capri Anderson was. At best, someone named Cassie Anderton in Vegas had a stranger knock on her door and hand her $20,000.