Charlie Sheen called the Dan Patrick Show

By brendon February 14, 2011 @ 6:32 PM

Charlie Sheen called the Dan Patrick Show today, presumably to let everyone know that he was clean and sober and in a great frame of mind, but really he just sounded like a complete drunken ass.

When asked why his voice was sore, Sheen explained that he went to the set of Two And A Half Men, which is on hiatus, and banged on the doors for them to let him in. But no one would. Perhaps because, as previously implied, no one was there.

“I just figured I was supposed to go back to work because I’m ready,” he said. “They said, ‘You get ready [and] we’ll get ready.’ And I got ready.”

Let’s just pretend for a second that the rest of the cast and crew live on the set and would be there at whatever random hour Sheen decided to show up. Actually let’s not because that’s stupid. The only way that banging on doors that you know are locked proves you’re ready to go to work is if you’re an escape artist. Otherwise you’re just sort of an asshole.

does Charlie Sheen have a sex tape? gee what do you think.

By brendon February 03, 2011 @ 6:22 PM


Last week it was reported that Charlie Sheen wanted to buy a house and then fill it with porn stars. A harem, in other words. Of sex slaves. And also “co-stars”, as it turns out. The Huffington Post says…

Sheen’s madam, who goes by the name of Felony, (said) he was planning out an entire porn franchise, to be titled ‘Charlie’s Devils.’
“Charlie and I were having this great project and he was talking about performing in front of the camera,” Felony said. He even made a demo: “Charlie’s got the tape. I gave it to him afterwards,” the madam said. “He was keeping it so he could practice.”
If it does air, it could be pretty explosive: “The ladies love Charlie. He likes to explore his sexuality. He likes fetish, spanking, role play, really kinky stuff,” she added.

Actually, from what we’ve heard, it would be 2 minutes of slapping his dick against his leg to try and make something happen, similar to what you do with a glo stick or poppin fresh dough, then 5 minutes of explanations, then 15 minutes of hugging and apologizing. So, yes, I’d still buy it, but only to boost my self esteem.

Charlie Sheen will be back to work this month

By brendon February 03, 2011 @ 3:26 PM

Two and a Half Men

Last Friday
Charlie Sheen was asked about his drug addiction and he said, “I’m fine, people don’t seem to get it”, and yesterday he said all the rumors, presumably about his drug habit, “are crap”, so very obviously he isn’t doing any sort of rehab while at home. And so he might as well go back to work. And so that’s what he’s gonna do. The AP says…

The 45-year-old actor remains in rehab but hopes to return to TV’s top-rated comedy by the end of February, publicist Stan Rosenfield said Thursday. That’s a “target” projection, Rosenfield said.
The series halted production after Sheen sought treatment for undisclosed reasons following a 911 call and brief stay at a Los Angeles-area hospital last week. According to a tape of the 911 call, Sheen was said to be intoxicated and in pain.

Do people realize he has a 25-year-old daughter, by the way? Cassandra Jade Estevez. He had her when he was 19. And I bet, every June, when you ask her what she’s doing for Fathers Day, the answer is always, “crying”.

morning headlines

By brendon February 03, 2011 @ 11:36 AM


KIM KARDASHIAN – went on a few dates with Gabriel Aubry, and that apparently drove Halle Berry nuts. “She was upset at the idea of someone like that being in her daughter’s life. She did not want a reality star in Nahla’s life. She was very aggravated.” Christ calm down. It’s just Kim Kardashian. She goes shopping. What could go wrong. It’s not like the kid was gonna be on Ultimate Fighter, and someone was gonna grab her by her ankles and swing her around as a weapon. Though that would be cool, and effective. (people)

CHARLIE SHEEN – issued a statement yesterday thanking everyone for their support, and told E! that the rumors were, “All crap. Believe nothing. I will never speak about any of this as long as I’m alive. You’re all gonna have to keep towing the same redundant line, guessing wrong.” Awww, you gonna cry now, little baby. (e!)

KELLY BROOK – pranced around in a bikini in the Hollywood Hills yesterday, and here are the pictures. Because that’s what this website is all about. Helping others. (splash)

Charlie Sheens mom is the product of a rape

By brendon February 02, 2011 @ 1:12 PM


(NOTE: I should probably write TYLER EXCLUSIVE in all caps across the headline, because thats what this is, but it makes me look needy.)

The reason Charlie Sheen continues to get work in Hollywood despite a 20 year crime spree is because he’s apparently very likable in person. Unless you’re a girl who doesn’t want to have sex with him, in which case he can sometimes become a violent jackass.

Oh, hey, which reminds me, Charlie Sheen’s biological grandfather was a rapist. He raped Sheen’s grandmother and his mom was the product of that rape. Seriously. It’s apparently well known to those close to the Sheen family, at least according to someone I spoke with last night, someone very very much in a position to know this kind of thing.

Is that related to Sheen getting violent with women who won’t have sex with him, or his affinity for prostitutes who never say no? I don’t know, I’m not a psychologist. I can tell you this though; my moms dad was an Apostolic Christian missionary, and I’m a sweet little angel, so maybe that really is how these things work.

Martin Sheen wants a conservatorship over Charlie

By brendon February 01, 2011 @ 2:46 PM


Just to be clear, Charlie Sheen is not some adorable scamp, he’s a piece of shit with a long history of violence against women, but if he wants to get high and apologize to prostitutes all day, by all means go for it. As long as he doesn’t…

- Shoot the girl, like he did to Kelly Preston. (imdb)
- Hit her in the back of the head if she refuses to sleep with him, like he did to a student at UCLA. (people)
- Fling her to the ground and split open her lip, which would require 7 stitches, like he did to Brittany Ashland. (e!)
- Hold a knife to her throat, like he did to Brooke Mueller. (daily mail)
- Threaten to kill her, like he did to Denise Richards and Capri Anderson. (people, daily news)

As long as he stops doing that, I could care less about how much coke he does or the jenga of STDs in his body that apparently void each other if you acquire enough. But his dad does apparently, and so he’s gonna try to get a conservatorship on him. Radar says…

“Charlie looks awful… he is very, very depressed and feels like the world is going against him. Charlie’s parents are discussing getting a conservatorship of their son. Martin and Janet know that it’s highly unlikely their petition would be granted, but they are trying to do whatever possible to save Charlie’s life.”
“Charlie is coughing a lot, and he doesn’t seem to care what he is doing to his body… Charlie truly thinks he is invincible, and that he can do as much drugs as possible with no ramifications.”
Martin Sheen recognizes “that Charlie isn’t rehabbing at home. That term just doesn’t exist. Charlie is calling the shots, he hasn’t surrendered to sobriety, and until that happens, this cycle won’t end. Charlie is absolutely refusing to go to rehab. He is a 45 year old man, and no one can force him to go. That is why his parents are exploring what legal options they have if any to save his life,” the insider told us.

Ok, whatever, but can we all agree that if he hits one more girl, we get to put a stick of dynamite in his ass and blow him up? Honestly, it seems fair at this point.