Thousands of fans (even Green Man!) gathered yesterday in New York, Chicago, Seattle and LA for “I’m With Coco” rallies, to show their support for Conan O’Brien and to tell NBC to go fuck itself. E! says…
Hundreds of O’Brien fans braved pouring rain outside The Tonight Show set, chanting “Jay Leno sucks!” as a fan dressed as Leno ran around.
O’Brien himself appeared on the roof to wave to fans, and his staff passed out pizza to the crowd below.
Fans of Jay Leno planned to hold a rally yesterday too, but most never made it out of the neighborhood as they and their feeble minds sat in their cars waiting for the stop sign to turn green. Those lucky enough to not encounter any stop signs couldn’t park in any of the nearby lots because they weren’t sharp enough to react in time when the gate lifted to let them in.
MEGAN FOX - is not engaged to Brian Austin Greene, despite weekend rumors that she was. It was all a misunderstanding. A little torture and he changed his tune just like that. (wonderwall)
AVATAR - made another 41 million this weekend, rose to third all time in US box office history (‘Titanic’ made 600M, ‘Dark Knight’ 533) and is now an absolute certainty to become the highest grossing movie ever. Another absolute certainty: I look amazing in sung fit jeans. (box office mojo)
CONAN O BRIEN - is expected to make between 30 and 40 million in his settlement with NBC. Keep in mind that NBC fired him because they might lose around 25 million in advertising compared to last year. When asked for a comment, the other networks just laughed hysterically. (variety)
MISCHA BARTON - was at work today in New York playing a prostitute on ‘Law and Order: SVU’. You can tell she’s in character here because this is way better than she normally dresses. (splash news online)
NBC must be some kind of money laundering operation because Jeff Zucker has done nothing but fuck up (graph, graph) since taking over 10 years ago (it’s in last place among the 4 networks, ratings have dropped for 8 straight years). Now reports say Zucker has been “nasty, arrogant and threatening” towards Conan, who “has acted like a baby” since NBC announced they were moving Leno back to 11:30.
But at least Leno has handled this with integrity, and you can rest assured there won’t be any clips about this from 2004 that would make him look like an asshole. Oh wait never mind.
“When I took this show over, boy there was a lot of animosity between me and Dave, and who’s gonna get it, and quite frankly, a lot of, what I thought, well good friendships were permanently damaged. And I don’t want to see anybody ever have to go through that again. Because, you know this show is like a dynasty, you hold it, and then you hand it off to the next person. And I don’t wanna see all the fighting and all the ‘who’s better’ and nasty things back and forth in the press, so right now, here it is, Conan, it’s yours, see you in 5 years buddy. Clear enough?”
It’s hard to imagine who would watch ‘the Tonight Show’ now that Leno has been exposed as the underhanded fraud that he is. I’d rather watch a show that teaches you how to get your dick caught in a zipper.
TIGER WOODS - is donating $3M in medical care and supplies to help those affected by the earthquake in Haiti, and he may give even more to a similar charity run by Wyclef Jean. In a related story, I got a new cashmere blanket and slept like a little angel last night. Actually I guess those two stories arent that related. (fox sports)
WYCLEF JEAN - Remember that story about Tiger Woods donating money to Wyclefs Jeans charity to help those affected by the earthquake in Haiti? Well it could really enrich a lot of lives, although mostly Wyclefs, because apparently he keeps most of the money for himself. (the smoking gun)
OPIE AND ANTHONY - had celebrity journalist Ian Halperin on the show this morning, and he claims he’s heard the Tiger Woods sex tape. And I don’t mean to brag, but I saw 5 new songs from Kanye, and kicked that Jessica Alba is pregnant again. Look at me everyone, I’m a journalist! (youtube)
CONAN O’BRIEN - is out to salvage what he can from the Tonight Show, so he put it up for sale on craigslist. When Leno saw the ad, he laughed really loud and clapped his hands and said how funny it was, then went behind the scenes and ordered someone to beat up Conans wife. (craigslist)
JENNIFER HAWKINS - is yet another hot Aussie model in a bikini, but unlike Lara, Megan, Erin, and Jessica, Jennifer was in Santa Monica yesterday. The fool doesn’t even know she’s fallen right into my trap. Go ahead my sweet, yell all you want, they can’t hear you in Australia.
When Jimmy Kimmel began his show earlier this week by doing an impression of Jay Leno and insulting him for 5 minutes, seemingly in defense of Conan O’Brien, Leno knew what he had to do: he had to have Kimmel on his show. And so that’s what he did. Oh and it went just great.
Question 5 LENO: Whats the best prank youve ever pulled? JIMMY: …I think the best prank I ever pulled was, I told a guy, 5 years from now, I’m gonna give you my show, and then when the 5 years came I gave it to him and then I took it back almost instantly. It was hilarious. I think he works at Fox or something now.
Question 6 LENO: Have you ever ordered anything off the TV? JIMMY: You mean like NBC ordered your show off the TV?
It actually gets worse after that. NBC and Leno really have their fingers on the pulse of America. That studio must have labels and stickers on everything so these doofusses don’t end up eating a hat, or finding a beaker with hissing blue liquid in it and stirring it with their dicks.
Late-night funnyman Conan O’Brien’s last night as host of “The Tonight Show” will likely be next Friday, allowing Jay Leno to reclaim his old time slot.
“Conan does not currently plan on doing any more new shows after next week,” a source told People magazine’s Web site this afternoon.
Leno struck a deal with NBC to reclaim the 11:35 p.m. to 12:35 a.m. “Tonight Show” slot.
Is “piece of shit” hyphenated? When you use it to describe someone? Because I was trying to organize my thoughts on Leno and that one came up a few times. I wanna make sure everything is just right.