Ciara Sees No Future With Future (Get It? Fuck Yeah I’m on A Roll)

By Lex August 13, 2014 @ 2:36 PM

Ciara spun the rapper wheel of sperm and got knocked up by Future, who proceeded to fuck around on her because he’s a rapper and his name is Future. With their baby, also named Future, just three months old, Ciara has told Future to take a hike because she’s heartsick from his cheating ways.  I guess Ciara’s heart isn’t well-versed in the rapper fidelity statistics put out each year by the RIAA. The odds are not in your favor, Katniss.

“I knew right away that he was different. Now he’s my best friend in the world, my partner.”

But that was a full month ago in Brides magazine with Ciara talking about her pending wedding to her baby daddy. You know, talking about her Future. This slight error in judgement shouldn’t be used against Ciara when she starts writing celebrity motherhood and relationship books. You want advice from a woman who thought a 25-year old rapper was the perfect partner. You can’t be the shepherd until you’ve fucked a few sheep.

Photo credit: Splash News

Miley Cyrus Tits Are Spray Painted for New Music Video

By Lex November 12, 2013 @ 4:27 PM

Miley Cyrus Is Covered In Glitter For Future's Music Video 'Real And True'
Miley Cyrus had about five minutes there when people weren’t talking about her being the bane of decent society so she took off her clothes for a rap video where her dulcet tones are featured. You can go look up the rapper Future’s music video Real & True yourself to see flashes of Miley Cyrus body painted in silver glitter. Now that I know my Internet search records are being monitored by the NSA, I’m not doing ‘Miley Cyrus tits in videos’ or ‘how to murder annoying neighbor children’ any longer on Google.