Guy Ritchie, his girlfriend Jacqui Ainsley, and his son Rocco are off the coast of Majorca today, and Guy seems cool so it’s good that he doesn’t have to deal with that mean old bitch Madonna anymore. Her body always looks dehydrated. And tough. You can see her ligaments and tendons, and her vagina is probably gritty like a cats tongue. If he ever starts to miss sex with Madonna maybe Jacqui can die for a month.
(source = pacific coast)
There are two sexy new auctions this week, one to sell three paintings of Madonna and another for a naked picture of French First Lady Carla Bruni (uhq of that here). A former model, the picture of Bruni was taken in 1994, at the height of her career when she was 26, and is expected to at least match the $900,000 a similar picture sold for last year.
The paintings of Madonna, one with ex-husband Guy Ritchie, take a few liberties with their subject, but it’s still clear what they are because as you can see here, the artists expression says, “Oh Jesus God I Just Saw Madonna Naked” all by itself.
(image source = pacific coast and splash. full size picture jump = here)
Madonna has been nothing but a mean spirited bitch ever since they split, but still Guy Ritchie is the one she has turned to after her failed bid to adopt a little girl in Africa last week. The Sun says…
Madge was devastated after being told three-year-old Malawi girl Mercy James can’t join her brood — Lourdes, 12, Rocco, eight, and three-year-old David Banda, who she adopted from Malawi in 2006. “Guy was incredibly sympathetic, calmed her down and told her to be happy with the family she had.”
This was after Guy issued this statement of support last week:
“I fully supported Madonna in her decision to apply for this adoption, and I am saddened her application has been rejected. She is motivated only by being a caring parent who seeks to share some of the advantages and opportunities that her life has given her.”
This dude must have the patience of a saint to put up with her for so long. She’s like a villain in a fairy tale. Mean, ugly, pale and creepy because you can see the tendons in her arms when she moves. Honest to God I’d rather hump a vagina made out of wood than Madonna.
I can’t say “brasserie” without giggling, but Guy Ritchie and Elle Macpherson spent about 4 hours having dinner at the Notting Hill Brasserie in London last night. Hopefully Madonna has already killed herself because all she cares about is winning, which is why she’s dating that androgynous young man doing this for the attention, but Elle is way way better than that twink (she looked like this in a bikini a few months ago and this out of a bikini about a year ago), so the score is, Guys Penis: 1. Madonnas Diseased Womb: Dusty.
(image source = splash news)
Earlier this week Madonna’s spokesperson released a statement claiming Guy Ritchie would walk away from their 8 year marriage with a settlement between 76 and 92 million dollars. This was surprising to some considering Guy personally told the media he had no interest in taking any of Madonna’s money. So it would seem someone was lying in an attempt to manipulate the public perception in a way that made them look like the victim. Oh hey guess which one it was. The Daily Mail says…
Just days after Madonna's spokeswoman outlined the £50-£60million divorce settlement the singer's ex-husband would receive, her camp have had to backtrack over 'misleading and inaccurate' claims.
Today his spokesperson released a stinging 'joint' statement on behalf of the former couple which left Madonna's PR offensive in tatters.
The statement read: 'We have tried to maintain a dignified silence regarding the details of our divorce for the last few months whilst accepting the obvious media interest.
'A misleading and inaccurate statement, specifically in relation to the sums of money involved, was wrongly issued to AP this week.
'The financial details of the settlement will remain private, save to say that both of us are happy with our agreement.
After that it says, now that the money is settled, the only thing left to work out is custody and visitation of the kids. So their priorities were in all the right places. But in Madonnas defense, she needs her finances in order because still has to face charges of felony child endangerment and sex with a minor because she molested her housekeepers 5-year-old twins, a girl and a boy. I’m not positive if that happened or not, but maybe it did. It's possible. What am I, the FBI?
Guy Ritchie is awesome, and Madonna is a despicable human being, so needless to say him walking away from their 8 year marriage with at least 76 million dollars is the Feel Good Story of the Year. Us magazine says…
Madonna's rep Liz Rosenberg tells The AP that Madonna, 50, has given Ritchie, 40, between $76 million to $92 million as part of their divorce agreement. (The figure includes the value of the couple's country home Ashcombe in western England, she said.)
Although the singer keeps the bulk of her estimated $500 million fortune, "I'd assume it's one of the largest payouts ever in a divorce settlement," Rosenberg noted.
Her rep also tells Access Hollywood that, despite British reports, it is unlikely she will be spending Christmas with Ritchie.
"Madonna will be spending the holidays in London," Rosenberg tells Access. "But, it is doubtful she will be spending it with the ex."
Good. Good you whore. I hope you lose every dime you never should have made, I hope you break your hip in those dumb boots you wear, and I hope that stupid African kid you stole bites you and gives you terrifying African disease that no one here has ever heard of.
