Katherine Heigl Isn’t A Bitch Says Katherine Heigl And Shit Around The Web

By Jack November 03, 2014 @ 12:00 PM

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Notorious bitch Katherine Heigl says she isn’t really a bitch even though she’s acted like a bitch a lot in the past. Never mind that no one wants to work with her because she’s such a C.U.N.T cunt.

Read all about how no one understands poor Katherine? (Dlisted)

Iggy Azalea wears white face but it’s OK because she’s White. (TMZ)

Jennifer Lopez has big spicy Latin hooters. (Huffington Post)

Barbara Palvin topless is the reason this job is awesome. (Drunken Stepfather)

Nina Agdal wears a bikini and it is faptacular. (Hollywood Tuna)

Emily Ratajkowski makes me want to play Call of Duty and touch her thingies. (Popoholic)

Dallas Cowboy cheerleader Holly Arielle gets fappeninged. Is that a word? (COED)

Katherine Heigl Too Good To Be Hired

By Matt August 07, 2014 @ 8:15 AM

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In a pretentious new interview, Katherine Heigl says she left Hollywood for Utah because she wanted her family of adopted international babies to come first. Her explanation is in slight contrast to what everybody else in Hollywood believes is Heigl taking flight after she became too cloyingly difficult and not young and hot enough to be worth casting any longer.

Heigl casts herself a domestic heroine and even donned a homely K Mart style sweater for the interview. As a true professional she gained three pounds to look more Utah. Her dictated puff piece is as transparent as her recent IMDB credits, as she spins her boring life into a triumph over the evils of employment:

I felt like my priorities were messed up. I was putting so much time and energy into just my work, but I was raised that family comes first…We had big dreams of expanding our family, moving to the mountains and having a quieter life. Utah is spectacularly beautiful, the people are wonderful and kind, it’s an easy commute from L.A. – and there’s no traffic.”

There is no traffic in Utah because everybody who owns a car there drove to live in another state. But I’m sure they do have the Internet so Heigl can shop for family extensions online. The mountain life is different than living on the coast, so she’s going to want to find some babies from the Steppes or Rural Hinterlands who have genetic traits suited for foraging, chopping, and packing on fat with just a simple berries and bark diet. Also, they shouldn’t talk much. You can’t have the quiet life if the helper kids are yapping in their various foreign tongues about conditions in the sleeping shed.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

Katherine Heigl Is Too Important to Be Captured

By Jack April 10, 2014 @ 1:06 PM

Katherine Heigl is suing the Duane Reade chain of pharmacies for precisely six million dollars. It seems that she was leaving one of their stores in New York when a pap shot a picture of her carrying lots of Duane Reade bags. For some stupid reason the pharmacy decided to brag that she likes to buy her fungal infection salves and colonics at their store. Because that will definitely make you want to shop there as well, just to catch the scent.

“Love a quick #DuaneReade run?  Even @KatieHeigl can’t resist shopping #NYC’s favorite drugstore.”

Heigl is pissed off about them using her sacred image in what amounts to a commercial. The six million dollar suit is based on what her inflated fucking ego thinks she is worth. Where it gets really weird is how much she brags about herself in the suit:

“Plaintiff is a highly successful television and motion picture actress, producer and celebrity. Plaintiff continues to be in high demand in the entertainment industry…A recent search for ‘Katherine Heigl’ on the Google search engine returned over 3.2 million results.”  And she says she boasts 754,000 Twitter followers.”

Did it happen to mention that the vast majority of those 3.2 million Google results were Katherine Heigl super cunt and Katherine Heigl nipple pokes. The days of her starring on Grey’s Anatomy and Knocked Up are gone. Adopting ten more Korean babies can’t save you now, Instead of suing, let people know you’ll be there on Sundays at noon and see if Duane Reade will kick in for some free Midol for your promotion. The RomComs are gone forever. At least you won’t have to go through career death with cramps.

(Photo Via Twitter)

I Can Almost See What Katherine Heigl Had for Dinner Last Night

By Lex June 04, 2013 @ 2:38 PM

Katherine Heigl In A Tight Blue Dress Relaxing At Home In New Orleans
Everybody talks about Katherine Heigl like she’s some uptight, annoying, precious Hollywood actress. Nobody thinks about her as an uptight, annoying, precious Hollywood actress with a big white girl booty. A couple more outings in a dress like that and that’ll all change.

Photo Credit: PCN

Katherine Heigl kept Mothers Day classy

By brendon May 14, 2012 @ 2:06 PM

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The picture agency said that Katherine Heigl and her husband and her adopted daughter Naleigh all went to Katherines moms house for Mothers Day yesterday, so either that’s Naleigh with the nanny, or else Katherine has a baby inside that white bag. Let’s hope for the latter.

I’d like to think that Katherine is still bonding with Naleigh a little, but my sources tell me that Katherine has picked up and carried a Japanese man home on two separate occasions. TYLER EXCLUSIVE!!!!

(image source = inf)

Katherine Heigl is glamourous

By brendon August 26, 2011 @ 2:47 PM

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Hollywood sex symbol Katherine Heigl ran some errands around West LA yesterday, and I never realized how much she looks like a friend of mine. His name is Alex. This is how he dressed in 1998. He doesn’t have that ridiculous haircut anymore or those freshly cut-off Duck Heads but I bet he’ll get a kick out of this.

(image source = fame)