People freak out whenever I call babies ugly, as if the f*cking baby is gonna read this and get it’s feelings hurt, but I’m pretty sure the rule giving them immunity was made before … um … before whatever the hell that is was born. According to her website, it’s Katherine Heigl with her newly adopted “special needs” baby from Korea. According to things I learned in comic books, it’s clearly a super baby who one day will rob banks by walking through it’s walls as police bullets bounce harmlessly off it’s impenetrable folds of lumpy skin.
I don’t like kids anyway, and I especially hate babies, but I very much do like Asian girls, and most little Asian kids are absolutely god damn adorable, way cuter than little white kids who usually suck, but this. Yikes. Was this adoption agency reputable? Because it’s like someone shaved a shar pei and gave her that. And by the time Katherine figures it out the check will have cleared. “Ha-ha, I got you money, Round Eye!”, Korea will say. “Dog baby you problem now, Woof-Woof!”
The Thursday morning headlines are hosted by this sexy ass German guy who shuffles around in a circle for over 5 minutes to ‘Sunshine’ by alex M.O.R.P.H. At the 3 minute mark, just when you think things are starting to cool down, the music kicks back up and his hot moves go right along with it. I actually went and bought some panties just so I could throw them at the screen as I squealed with delight.
BRAD PITT – spent $82,000 on a custom home for the family (brace yourself) gerbils. To be fair, it’s not that the gerbil house is that fancy, they just had to add a bunch of locks and monitors so Zahara wouldn’t have a flashback and eat them. (the enquirer)
KATHERINE HEIGL – is adopting a 10-month-old “special needs” girl from Korea. It may seem nice of her to adopt a kid like that, but her diabolical ass probably just wanted a retarded one so when she forgets to feed it or leaves it in a hot car she can tell the cops, “it was fucked up like that when I got it.” (star)
NICOLE RICHIE – gave birth to a son yesterday, and just in case having her and Joel Madden for parents wasn’t embarrassing enough, they named him ‘Sparrow James Midnight Madden’. Or as he’ll be known in the 6th grade, “That Kid Lying Face Down In The Mud And Clutching His Stomach In Pain.” (us.com)
Katherine Heigl added to her spoiled brat legacy this week when she went on Letterman and complained about a 17-hour work day on “Greys Anatomy”. Keep in mind that just means she was there for 17 hours. She wasn’t building sets or writing the script. Mostly she was sitting in her fabulous trailer on her extra-fancy couch. Other people were working for 17 hours, and she was in the vicinity, so Katherine would like credit for that as well. By that standard, I can bench press over a million pounds. There’s my 225, plus whatever it is the other 300 people are currently lifting. I’m practically the Hulk. Anyway, Katherine said…
“Our first day back was Wednesday and it was — I’m going to keep saying this because I hope it embarrasses them — a seventeen-hour day, which I think is cruel and mean.”
Wow, that sucks! Why the hell would they do such a thing? New York Magazine has one idea why…
What she neglected to add was this: This “cruel” shooting schedule was only to accommodate HER and her needs. The producers graciously shuffled things around so she could go off and do promotion for her new film. Also, with union rules, the producers had to pay a ton of overtime and penalties to make this happen. The thanks they get is Katherine Heigl going on national television hoping to embarrass them.
At this point the producers would probably prefer it if Katherine knocked on the door and then threw a bunch of snakes on them as opposed to her asking for any more “favors”.
(oh, and sorry for the delay today. i’ll spare you the details, but suffice to say those gangs wont be selling any more drugs to kids around here)
Katherine Heigl has been a menace on the set of “Greys Anatomy” for about a year because she wants to leave the show that made her famous and become a movie star, like Clooney did with “ER”, and Bruce Willis with “Moonlighting”. You may have noticed there’s like a 15-year gap between those two examples. So did she apparently. The AP says…
Katherine Heigl said Friday she's ready to stay with "Grey's Anatomy" and the decision rests with the show … she's comfortable balancing movies and TV by working on big-screen projects during the summer hiatus for "Grey's Anatomy." "I'm more than happy to make that compromise. I don't know if I want to continue for five years working 12 months a year, but I can take at least another year or two," she said.
When asked about this, a coal miner said, “Oh Katie, please, please don’t be a hero. Don’t try to read words out loud a few days a week for 24 straight months. I had a vacation in 1997, actually the mine collapsed and a cart crushed my leg in three places, but those ten days were magic!”
(remember when she was hot? feels like a billion years ago, doesn’t it?)
Katherine Heigl is a mess - Go Fug Yourself has some thoughts on Katherine Heigl wearing tiny sandals, a skintight skirt, and a cheap-looking shiny satin top. Try and guess if they’re good. (picture source = splash news)
Michael Phelps will be very rich very soon – his agent says the swimmer could make 100 million dollars by getting the warhead and holding the world hostage in endorsements.
Kelly Brook in a bikini – This link will lead to pictures of Kelly Brook in a bikini, as implied by the title.
Nothing can stop a Werewolf - If you’re being chased by the Wheelchair Werewolf, say your prayers. Or step up on a curb.
Watchmen might be in trouble - Warner Bros. is scheduled to release the highly anticipated "Watchmen" on March 6, but a federal judge in LA has decided he will hear a lawsuit filed by 20th Century Fox against Warners over rights to the comic. This could lead to delays, mostly because nerds will fill the gutters of earth after killing themselves in the streets.
Katherine Heigl has all but knocked on their door and kicked her producers in the balls, so it should come as no surprise that Us Weekly is reporting that her character may be killed off of "Grey’s Anatomy", and that it could happen very quickly. Us says…
The idea came after Heigl, 29, withdrew herself from Emmy contention, saying that she didn’t feel she was “given the material this season to warrant an Emmy nomination.” In response to Heigl’s griping, staffers are considering giving her character, Dr. Izzie Stevens, a brain tumor. “[Producer] Shonda [Rhimes] and the writers are pissed at her,” the source tells Us. “It’s their way of screwing with her. She won’t know whether she’s going to live or die.”
Now god damn that's cool. It's about time someone stood up to these … oh wait. When they said she didn’t know if she would live or die they meant on the show, huh? Well, it’s a start.
