By Jack October 16, 2013 @ 1:31 PM
Kris Humphires decided to unload the diamond ring he once gave Kim Kardashian for their fake TV marriage. The 16-karat ring was sold at Christie’s auction house for $749,000 to a mysterious buyer calling in a phone bid. My guess is that it was Kanye. He’s going to set the diamond in the tip of a big dildo and bang naughty groupies with it while relaying the story about how he stole Kim Kardashian away from her husband
Magazines for women are writing about how the auction closing is helping Kris Humphries to finally close the Kim Kardashian chapter of his life, but Lee Hutton, Kris’ lawyer, says he got over her long ago:
“I’m not sure if the ring or its sale helps with the process of moving on. I think he moved on long before the ring was even put into the auction. Kris, being an athlete, is getting ready for an upcoming seasons and ready for life’s lessons as they come along. This whole process was humbling but maturing.”
Great point, Lee Hutton. Sometimes it takes a fraudulent marriage to a duplicitous whore to build yourself into a stronger man. It does seem to be a common past of many great athletes, so perhaps there is something to this.
On Friday it was reported that Kim Kardashian “forgot” one of the wedding presents she received for her sham 72-day marriage, because instead of giving them back or splitting them with her husband, she’s keeping them all for herself and giving $200,000 to charity, an amount she says is twice what the gifts are worth.
Well now it turns out the gift she didn’t count is a $325,000 Ferrari (a 458 Italia?) and it’s odd that it slipped her mind considering she drives it. Radar says:
However, Kris (Humphries) hasn’t forgotten, and although he has no intention of asking for the car his attorneys do intend to question Kardashian under oath as to why she didn’t include the value of the expensive sports car when she tallied up the cost of their wedding gifts.
ATTORNEY: “Why didn’t you include the value of the Ferrari when adding up the cost of the wedding gifts and giving ‘twice the amount’ to charity?”
KIM KARDASHIAN: “Because I’m a vapid, selfish bitch.”
ATTORNEY: “Oh. Oh ok. I kinda thought you’d dance around it for a while. Nothing further, I guess.”
(image source = splash)
By brendon April 26, 2012 @ 3:16 PM
Kim Kardashian recently sent a card to everyone who attended her wedding and told them that, instead of simply returning the gifts they gave her (“I mean, I guess I could have mailed it. Like I did with the card you’re currently reading. And you would have your gift back right now instead of a form letter.”) she will donate them all to charity.
And, no, you didn’t miss her getting married again. This is still about her wedding 9 months ago, and the gifts she’s had (and perhaps been using) all this time. And the ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians” cast member who played her husband on the show would like to know why.
“Kris (Humphries) wants to know exactly which gifts are being given to which charity and why weren’t the presents simply returned? Kris just can’t fathom why Kim wouldn’t just do the right thing and return the gifts to their guests,” an insider tells Radar.
“He wasn’t given any consideration or any allowed any input regarding Kim’s decision, and the gifts were given to both of them not just Kim. Kris still wants Kim to return the gifts, period. It’s the right thing to do because the marriage just didn’t last.”
No, Kim is right, this is way better. She could go to some place that studies AIDS and find out if a crystal figurine of three monkeys will maybe stop it somehow. Because that’s the kind of thing she put her gift registry, and charities need more of that. Some lucky runaway at Covenant House is about to get a lightly-used Hermes dessert plate, making all his dreams come true.
By brendon April 05, 2012 @ 5:58 PM
Back in December of 2010, there was a rumor that Kanye West and Kim Kardashian had been secretly dating and that he had even gotten her pregnant, though it was said that Kim wanted a relationship but Kanye didn’t. Nothing ever came of it (perhaps because December 2010 is also when Kim met Kris Humphries for the first time and they were engaged 5 months later), but Kanye released a song yesterday called “Theraflu” and the lyrics definitely give you the impression that he was at least fucking her. On account of her being a slut and everything.
“And I’ll admit, I had fell in love with Kim.
Around the time she had fell in love with him.
Well that’s cool, baby girl, do your thing.
Lucky I ain’t had Jay drop him from the team. (*)”
And just to make sure they got all the attention they so desperately crave, Kim and Kanye went to a movie last night and to FAO Schwarz today. And I can’t help but notice that the paparazzi agencies all have pictures of them inside the toy store, even though It’s illegal for paparazzi to go on private property. Which means they had a personal photographer and then sold the pictures themselves.
These two really are made for each other. Not only is he black and rich but he has a dumb name that starts with K too. She’s everything she could ever hope for.
(*) “Jay” of course is Jay-Z, part owner of the New Jersey Nets, the team Humphries pays for. image source = pacific coast
By brendon April 02, 2012 @ 2:06 PM
Kim Kardashian has received a ton of completely justified negative press since filing for divorce from Kris Humphries after a 72-day-marriage, so she’s trying to wrap their divorce up as fast as possible. The problem is that Humphries won’t sign the papers until she publicly apologizes and admits she only married him for publicity. Hahaha, checkmate, fatty!
The NY Post says…
Humphries is holding back on a divorce settlement and even turned down a $7 million offer from her to “shut up and go away.”
“Kris wants Kim to admit to fraud, to admit the whole thing was staged for publicity … They are trying to spin Kim as the victim, but Kris isn’t going to stand for it.”
The divorce has been stalled because Humphries took the unusual step of filing for an annulment based on fraud. He is also demanding Kim reveal how much she earned during their 72-day marriage.
Her mistake is thinking she could bribe him for just $7 million. He’s a free agent after this season who’s averaging 14 points and 11 rebounds a game, which is 5th in the league. He’s a good NBA player, he doesn’t need her money. She might as well have tried to bribe him with a pound of weed.
By brendon February 08, 2012 @ 12:48 PM
Kim Kardashian is hoping that she and her estranged husband Kris Humphries can have their divorce settled by a private mediator instead of in a courtroom, because, and this is a quote, “A public trial is the last thing that Kim wants … She wants the mediation to be private and confidential.”
Ok, now try and guess if Kris Humphries is in the mood to do favors for Kim Kardashian.
“Kris Humphries is said to want his divorce trial on TV to expose the truth behind the Kardashian reality shows, according to reports, (and to) prove in court that Kim only wanted to marry him to boost ratings.”
Aww what a shame. And after Kim has worked so hard to always lead her life with such a quiet dignity.
(image source of kim and kris back in july signing a baseball that the twins are now auctioning off = splash)