I’ve never punched a woman in the stomach before, but I shouldn’t brag because I’ve also never been within striking distance of Lady GaGa. Those two facts are almost certainly related. That she’s friends with Perez makes her punchable all by itself, but even without that she’s annoying like no other. She wore this “look at me everyone!” crap to the ACE Awards last night in New York, and she’s so ugly in real life it’s now proven to be fatal.
… her arrival made a photographer at the event pass out while standing on a ladder causing him to fall to his death. This was an accident but still a shock to the world of the photographers.
I don’t ask for much, but I really hope my death isn’t related to Lady GaGa in some way. I’d rather have my friends and family find me naked in a noose with gay porn on the TV and a chair leg shoved up my ass than to have ‘poker face’ playing in their head whenever they think of me. I’m sure they would too.
Lady GaGa talks all the time about her wild clothes and explains that they’re merely an extension of who she is, an expression of her creativity, and not some stunt to get attention. And as you can see here on this clip of her pre-fame on some MTV prank show, she’s telling the truth. She’s always been this way. Flip-flops and a scrunchee?!?! Where does she even find this stuff! The moon?!?!
LADY GAGA - is defending Kanye Wests behavior at the VMAs. “He’s a good guy and everybody makes mistakes, and he feels so f****** bad. He really does. Everyone likes to focus on gossip, but he’s changed music and he’s really prolific and an incredible person, and I think it’s unfair to judge somebody on one mistake they’ve made.” This should help change your opinion about Kanye, from now until the moment you read the very next sentence. (the sun)
KANYE WEST - threw a hissy fit at benefit show organized by Common. “After spotting a man eating chicken, West blurted, ‘Why wasn’t I offered chicken? You want me to perform for free, [and] everyone is eating… why am I not eating?’ When the waitress explained that he never asked for food, ‘He yelled, ‘Well, I’m asking now!’ After receiving chicken, he allegedly proceeded to take a bite and then throw the rest in the trash.” No one was injured, but this picture of a baby panda was taken at the scene. (vibe)
WOLVERINE, JAMES BOND - the new play “A Steady Rain,” starring Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig, has set the Broadway record for the highest weekly ticket sales of a non-musical play, earning $1.17 million. The old record was 41 dollars, set back before “things that are fun” was invented. (reuters)
HEATHER LOCKLEAR - made her first appearance on the set of ‘Melrose Place’ yesterday, and she looked awesome considering she’s 48. Ashlee “Second Best” Simpson had this to say, “aww god dammit.” (pacific coast. hq jump here)
I don’t know what little girl decided the MTV VMA’s should be the same day as NFL opening weekend, but did anyone even watch that crap? And if so, why? Was it to see Lady GaGa and her shocking outfits? If so, I hate you.
There’s a thin line between “creative artist” and “f**king retard”. Anyone can do this dumb shit. It’s not hard. I can dress as a muffin with butter, or make a hat out of a crocodile head so my face is peeking out of its open mouth and the crocodile body hangs down my back like a cape. “Ohhh, look at me everyone, I’m a complex artist who refuses to conform with your safe little ideas about fashion.”
Actually, no. No I’m not. I just made up some dumb shit because I want attention. God these two fug morons deserve each other. When does that lady who ran Selena’s fan club get out? And when can she get a new gun?
Has everyone heard of this South African distance runner named Caster Semenya? She won a gold medal in Berlin last month at the World Championships, and once she became the center of attention, it started to occur to people that she looked like a man. Oh and there’s good reason for that, according to a late breaking report in todays Daily News.
The 18-year-old South African champ has no womb or ovaries and her testosterone levels are more than three times higher than those of a normal female.
According to a source with knowledge of the tests, Semenya has internal testes - the male sexual organs that produce testosterone.
I don’t think we should celebrate peoples differences because more often than not those “differences” creep me out or annoy me, and girls with penises would very very definitely be on both lists. There has to be some kind of island that we could send people like her and Lady GaGa to. A resort where they won’t be judged, won’t be made fun of, from the day they’re born until death. It would be like summer camp all year long. A “death camp”, if you catch my drift.
LINDSAY LOHAN - ‘Life and Style’ points out the remarkable similarities between the women who “robbed” Lindsay and regular Lindsay. It would have been easy enough for her to truly disguise herself, but consider this: Lindsay is an idiot. (life and style)
LADY GAGA - went on The Matt And Jo Radio Show in Australia and because Aussies are cool/drunk, they asked her straight out if she was a hermaphrodite. She didn’t say yes or no, just “the subject is beneath me.” Yes, exactly, so look beneath you to where the subject is and describe what you see you creepy bitch. (hear the audio here)
PLAYBOY - is now offering Lindsay almost 1M to pose for the magazine, but she’s still being coy. This bitch is nuts. Everyone has already seen her naked (here) and she’s crazy if she thinks the offer will go higher. In another year she’ll be lucky to get a photoshoot where guys stand around and pee on her. (the sun)
CURRENT SONG - ‘Get Off’ by the Dandy Warhols. They would be more popular except no one seems to know who they are. I’m pretty savvy about the music industry. (youtube)
NOEMI LETIZIA - this is the 18-year-old who is having an affair with the 72-year old Prime Minister of Italy. Someone with bigger balls than him was unavailable for comment because they don’t exist. (hq jump)
