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When the Clock Strikes Midnight, The Stroking Ends

June 1, 2016 | advertisement | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Mr. Skin, who happens to be the second largest employer of men between the two coasts after only methamphetamine cookers, has extended their Memorial Weekend Lifetime special until midnight tonight. When the witches cackle and the bells gong and... READ MORE

You Can Run, But You Can’t Hide From the Mr. Skin $99 Lifetime Special

May 28, 2016 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

That big grey dude in the epically shitty new X-Men movie (spoiler alert) lived for a thousand generations. That seems like a long time. Especially without access to any decent pictures of naked mutant chicks. If only he'd have... READ MORE

Mr. Skin For A Lifetime, It’s Ninety-Nine Bucks, That Seems Sweet

May 26, 2016 | advertisement | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I'm not sure what happens when you die, but presumably unless you're famous, they're never going to notice. You can pass this shit onto your children and grandchildren on down the line. In 2237, some perfected version of you... READ MORE

What Can You Get For Five Bucks on Cinco De Mayo?

May 6, 2016 | advertisement | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Everybody celebrates the Battle of Puebla in their own way. Though almost everybody celebrates it by getting drunk. That's what Mexico wants you to do. They supply the beer. You supply the need for a low skilled service based... READ MORE

Mr. Skin and Naked News Just $4 A Month for Super Bowl Weekend

February 6, 2016 | advertisement | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

There’s one and only one rule at my Super Bowl party. You may not shit in the toilet. Shit before. Shit after.¬†You are not destroying the bathroom. I’m serving nachos. I have no yard. Plan accordingly. The god-fearing radicalized... READ MORE

What the Hell Are You Getting For Christmas? This Is an Advertisement for Mr. Skin

December 24, 2015 | advertisement | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Mr. Skin has dedicated itself since pre-millennia to getting naked chicks out onto the web. It’s as noble as UNICEF, without all the graft and Sepp¬†Blatter like gift giving and blow jobs. If you happen to be a fan... READ MORE

Best Black Friday Gift to Thineself

November 28, 2015 | advertisement | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I guess this is an ad. Far be it from me to tell anybody how to spend their good Christian holiday cash. Jews I think get free gifts as part of the banking conspiracy. But you could do worse... READ MORE

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