Monday headlines, with romance and fitness

By brendon June 27, 2011 @ 2:58 PM

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DAVE CHAPELLE – walked around NYC this weekend, and if you’re wondering what he’s been doing since he left ‘The Chapelle Show’, the answer apparently is, “millions of push-ups.” (flynet)

BRAVE – has a new brand new teaser trailer out today. It would seem next summers Pixar movie tells the timeless tale of Bear vs Ginger. (trailer addict)

NEIL PATRICK HARRIS – announced his engament to David Burtka on twitter this weekend, shortly after New York passed a law to allow gay marriage. It should be a beautiful ceremony, assuming God doesn’t smite the state under a shower of fire and brimstone first. (popeater)

DANIEL CRAIG AND RACHEL WEISZ – secretly got married in New York last Wednesday. They of course didn’t have to wait like Neil Patrick Harris did because their love isn’t an affront to our vengeful God. (daily mail)

JWOWW – and the cast of ‘Jersey Shore’ are back from filming season 4 in Italy, and being surrounded by all that beauty and culture must have been a life changing experience because yesterday she went to the gym with her tits on display. Oh wait never mind. (inf, splash)

Friday headlines, with female empowerment

By brendon June 24, 2011 @ 3:14 PM

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KATY PERRY – will tie Michael Jacksons record if her 5th single off ‘Teenage Dream’ goes to number 1 like the other 4 have. And also if she gets two dozen little boys drunk and blows them. (mtv)

CARS 2 – is the worst reviewed Pixar movie ever, and not coincidentally they’ve now unveiled the characters for ‘Brave’, their first movie with a female protagonist. So I guess it’s about girl problems, like when there are no tampons in the ladies room. (joblo)

THE SUPERMAN REBOOT – will have Julia Ormond joining Russell Crowe as Supermans parents on Krypton before it explodes. Because this will tell the Superman origin story. Yet again. Otherwise no one would know what was going on. “There’s a new director now, so naturally I assumed the character would be completely different,” audiences will no doubt say to one another. “By showing me what I already know and saw in two other movies, I’m now reassured that Superman is still exactly the same as always. And it was great. I enjoy watching the same story over and over and over again. I’m like a fucking toddler.” (deadline)

MEN IN BLACK 3 – will cost $215 million, mostly because Will Smith is a pain in the ass. (the wrap)

JERSEY SHORE – will have an all new cast next year. Either that or they won’t, because MTV is denying these reports. As if they could ever find 8 more drunk Italians in New Jersey. (hollywood reporter)

PETER FALK – died “peacefully at his Beverly Hills home” last night at the age of 83, according to his family. But maybe their story comes unraveled if the detective says there’s “Just one more thing…” right before leaving. It can’t hurt to try. (ew)

PAZ DE LA HUERTA – walked around NYC on the phone. Presumably with someone asking what her tits felt like. (inf)