There is a 100 percent chance today that the state of New York will go to Barrack Obama in today’s presidential election, and an excellent chance that Obama wins the election overall, but not because the people have made their decision, but because Puff Daddy is the most powerful man in the world, according to Puff Daddy.  The AP says…

"I felt like my vote was the vote that put him into office. It was down to one vote, and that was going to be my vote. And that may not be true, but that's how much power it felt like I had," the hip-hop mogul said.

"May"?  That "may" not be true?  I'll solve the mystery, no, it's not true.  It's very definitely definitely NOT true.  The AP continues…

After spending much of the presidential campaign season using his star wattage to get other people to the polls, Diddy, like other celebrity political boosters, spent the day leading by example. He arrived at his polling site — a school in midtown Manhattan — in the morning and waited in line as a bevy of media prepared to capture the moment.  Diddy said he believed he was potentially making history by voting for the first black president in U.S. history, and also felt the weight of the past in the voting booth.  "I'm not trying to be dramatic, but I just felt like, Martin Luther King, and I felt the whole civil rights movement, I felt all that energy, and I felt my kids," he said. "It was all there at one time. It was a joyous moment."

Well I sure do feel silly.  I thought maybe Diddy was making his choice for superficial reasons, but no, like, Martin Luther King and feeling his kids.  And energy.  He just made me look like a fool.

Last week Diddy posted a video on youtube where he lamented the high cost of gas prices, saying they were so high in fact that he could no longer use his private jet and was forced to fly commercial.  He said,

"As you know, I do own my own jet but I have been havin to fly back and forth to LA to pursue my acting career. Ok, now, if I’m flying back and forth, like, twice in a month that’s like 200,000, 250,000 round trip. Fuck that."

Oh hey guess what…

Turns out P. doesn't even have his "own" private jet at all. An extensive look through federal aviation records by the Palm Beach Post turned up no Seans, Diddys, Combs, or Puffys as the registered owner. One source said, "I have a list of every plane with the name of the owner, and he's not on it."
For the record, says his rep, he's got a "fractional" ownership in a plane on NetJets, where you buy flight hours.

Even the fact that he has a partial ownership annoys me to no end.  I think a reasonable response to everything Diddy says and does is pure unfiltered rage.



I'm pretty sure no one asked, because no one ever would, but for some reason Sean Combs told a reporter he shaves his balls.  Metro UK says…

The rapper, who has his own clothing line, said he went through a strict grooming regime. 'While I'm getting ready I like to relax with a drink – vodka and lemonade – and listen to some James Brown,' he explains.
'Then I'll have a manicure and pedicure – and yes, I wax as well. Men owe it to women to make sure they are well-groomed.' The star, 38, added: 'I wax my privates.”

Needless to say he doesn’t wax himself.  Some poor Vietnamese girl who came over here to find a better life has to get on her knees and rub wax on a rich black guys balls with a popsicle stick.  I think it's safe to say her plan isn’t working.

I don't know what Sean "Diddy" Combs does specifically, but I do know hes a pretentious jackass, and now I know that you're not allowed to approach him with even the most harmless of questions, even if your job is to ask people harmless questions.  For example, if you work at a restaurant, and he would like to come to your restaurant, and your job is to ask, "How many people in your party?"  Yeah that's no good apprently.  Page Six says:

A witness outside downtown hot spot GoldBar the other night said, "He walked right up to the door girl with four other people in his crew. When she asked him how many people he was with, Diddy just called her a 'fucking bitch' and opened the velvet rope and let himself through."

I think one problem might be that those ropes are made out of velvet.  That's not exactly an impenetrable force field.  They should make them out of electric barbed wire or dog doo on a stick.  Or maybe just have a guy standing there with a shovel and whenever retards think the rules don't apply to them, he whacks them in the nuts.  Basically, make your barrier out of anything except a thin rope that actually invites people to touch it, I guess is what I'm saying.

Sean "Puff Daddy" Combs allegedly got into a fight and punched a man in the face at an Oscar party Monday morning at about 2am.  Page Six says:

The rap impresario allegedly socked Gerard Rechnitzer, 27, outside of an Oscars after-party at Hollywood's Roosevelt Hotel … Rechnitzer incurred the wrath of Diddy when he exited a bathroom and saw his fiancée surrounded by six men, including Combs … After about five minutes of watching his girlfriend get hit on by Diddy, Rechnitzer intervened … Combs then punched Rechnitzer in the jaw, according to the complaint.  Rechnitzer, a real-estate agent, was thrown about five feet by the wallop and was severely injured … By the time the police showed up, Combs had left.

Whatever.  Replace the word "fight" with the word "hissyfit" and the word "man" with "stuffed animal" and I might believe Sean Combs sent someone flying 5 feet.  You might as well say the guy was left with a smoldering outline of a fist in his chest.  Puff Daddy is a little bitch playing dress up.  He's about as gangsta as Winnie the Pooh.  If he had never met B.I.G. and leached off his far superior talent, "Diddy" wouldn't be designing underwear, he'd be inspecting it.