By Jack April 17, 2013 @ 1:19 PM
We were all sickened by the bombings at the Boston Marathon earlier this week. After the initial shock of the act had subsided I had a thought that I have soon after any of these events: How are conspiracy theorists going to spin this into their Illuminati narrative? 9/11, The Kennedy assassination, and the Sandy Hook shooting have all been attributed to secret government/Illuminati/Freemason conspiracies. The answer for the Boston bombing is that it was predicted in an episode of The Family Guy. Yes, the cartoon with the talking dog. A video appeared on YouTube from nutball Alex Jones’ camp not long after the bombings that cut together two scenes from an episode of The Family Guy in which Peter Griffin wins the Boston Marathon by accidentally running over some runners with his car spliced with a later scene in which he unwittingly sets off a bomb with a cell phone given to him by a Jihadist. So, naturally this is the Illuminati telling us what they were going to do, right? Um, your a moron if you believe this.
First of all, it’s not what happened. While we don’t know all the details, I’m pretty sure all of those people weren’t injured because a mentally deficient fat man hit them with a station wagon. Secondly, they strung together two clips out of context. And most importantly, your whole conspiracy theory stuff is bullshit. There is no all-powerful secret society that secretly runs the world. You think the government can pull off all of these “false flag” stunts? Those management tards can’t even figure out how to keep a mail delivery service afloat in a nation where every single residence has a mailbox in front of it.. You are really grasping for straws when the best thing you can come up with is that something that is only sorta-kinda-not-really like a tragedy was on a shitty cartoon show. Seth MacFarlane said that these claims were “abhorrent”. For once, I agree with that assclown*.
*Assclown reference made before I heard he might be nailing Charlize Theron. Now, maybe, my hero.
By Travis April 10, 2013 @ 11:00 AM
Now that he has so bravely moved on after dumping Emilia Clarke, Seth MacFarlane reportedly had dinner with Charlize Theron in Beverly Hills on Monday night to discuss Seth’s next directing effort, A Million Ways to Die in the West, in which he also stars and she plays the female lead. A source told E! that the two definitely aren’t dating and that “he’s not her type”, which is true, because she’s an Academy Award-winning actress and he was the ninth funniest person at the Donald Trump Roast.
But this is how a guy like Seth works. First, he hosts the Oscars and has someone introduce them, then he casts her in a movie, and eventually she breaks down and says, “Fine, I’ll sleep with you, just stop doing the fucking Stewie voice.”
(Photo Credit: SPW/Splash News)
By Travis March 21, 2013 @ 10:00 AM
Seth MacFarlane has built a ridiculously successful TV empire ever since FOX told him to do whatever the hell he wants with Family Guy and American Dad, so it’s only natural that he’s been able to parlay that into sleeping with a ton of attractive young actresses. Among them, Eliza Dushku, Amanda Bynes, Ashley Greene, Alexis Knapp and Alexandra Breckenridge, to name a few, so he’s clearly living the American dream of being insanely wealthy and dating way out of his league.
Seth’s latest girlfriend was Game of Thrones star Emilia Clarke, but she must have farted in bed or something, because he’s done with her now, too.
E! News has learned that the 39-year-old Family Guy funnyman and the 25-year-old actress have parted ways.
“They are no longer dating,” a source tells E! News. “It was really a location challenge. She has been in Europe shooting Game of Thrones and he is based in California, so it was hard to make it work despite the distance. They have remained friends.” (E!)
Emilia sure put on a brave face at the Game of Thrones season 3 premiere on Monday night in Los Angeles. She’s young and will certainly bounce back from this short relationship, but being rejected still stings. So maybe she can actually train a baby dragon to grow up and attack for her at will, and it can destroy Seth with a single breath of fire.
Because otherwise he’s going to keep making those Family Guy Stars Wars parodies and, Jesus, enough already.
(Photo Credits: Getty)
By brendon December 03, 2012 @ 3:40 PM
Next year I’ll get to double the amount of not watching Seth MacFarlane because he’s recorded a guest spot for an episode of ‘the Simpsons’, playing a character that Marge meets online. They arrange to meet IRL; he thinks they’re gonna do it, she thinks they’re gonna bake cupcakes (wah wah). All they needed was Tina Fey to do a voice and they could have titled it, “Things I Can’t Believe Are Still On TV”.
SETH MACFARLANE – will reboot ‘the Flintstones’ as a new series for Fox, to premiere in 2013. So now he can steal characters right out in the open (Stewie is nothing but Jimmy Corrigan). When asked for a comment, MacFarlane went and stood behind Matt Groening and then repeated what he said. (deadline)
TOM SIZEMORE – did not kill Megan Wren, the woman who has been missing for 6 weeks, and she was finally found in a house near downtown LA. Oh fuck, now Tom knows where she is. Run Megan, run! (la times)
NIKITA – is one of the best shows on television, and today it finally got renewed for a second season. It was always assumed it would be, but the CW took until today to make it official because that network has no idea what the fuck it’s doing. (ew)
MARIA SHRIVER – has broken her silence (but not on twitter like her kids Patrick and Katherine), saying, “This is a painful and heartbreaking time.” Does she mean about ‘Nikita’? No Maria, it’s fine, it’s been renewed, all is well! (thr)
CIARA – looked fantastic as always in a bikini on Miami beach this weekend, and blah blah blah tits. (fame)
By brendon November 17, 2009 @ 7:35 PM
WOODY HARRELSON – says America invaded Afghanistan because Chevron wanted to overthrow the Taliban and build an oil pipeline. “The guys from Chevron went in and met with the Taliban and realized those guys just weren’t in control enough. That’s why they wanted to oust them.” You can read his entire interview in this weeks issue of ‘Crazy Dipshit Weekly’. (newsbusters)
LINDSAY LOHAN – is not creating a jewelry line with designer Pascal Mouawad, despite telling Access Hollywood that she was. “This is not happening,” he said in an email. As if she knows how to design jewelry. She might as well say she’s gonna build a space shuttle. (wwd)
SETH MACFARLANE – is sort of a one-trick pony. And that trick is to make the same show over and over and annoy the shit out of me. (college humor)
TILA TEQUILA – is suing ex bf Shawne Merriman claiming he abused her. Merriman was arrested on Sept. 6 after Tequila made similar claims, but despite clear bruises up and down her arms and Merriman admitting he held her down, no charges were ever filed. Probably because it’s always a disaster when a girl tells a story. You just know they’re fuckin it all up. (fox)
ASHLEY GREENE – was the hottest of the cast by far at last nights premier for ‘New Moon’. Mostly because I’m not sure who my other choices are. I think one is named ‘Kristin’. Another is maybe named ‘Taylor’. I think those are the girls. Are they girls? I should look this up.