Hulk Hogan filed a $100M lawsuit over his sex tape

By brendon October 16, 2012 @ 1:16 PM

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While standing in his finest black t-shirt and most solemn bandana skull cap, Hulk Hogan announced a $100,000,000 lawsuit over his leaked sex tape today, suing both Gawker Media, who released edited portions of the tape, and Bubba the Love Sponge, his former “best friend” whom he claims gave the tape to Gawker.

Hulk Hogan filed two lawsuits Monday over the infamous sex tape featuring his bedroom romp with his best friend’s ex-wife — even as the best friend denies any involvement in releasing the tape.
?(Hogans attorney) said the two suits would argue one basic concept — invasion of privacy.?

Well he’s off to a bad start because he can’t prove (yet) who leaked the tape and Gawker is incorporated under a shell company in the Cayman Islands so good luck suing them, but on the plus side, his attorney is scaring the shit out of me right now. It’s like someone tried to kill an evil ventriloquist dummy by burning it but all the fire did was make it come to life. If I were on a jury my pants would be soaked in urine. I’ll do whatever you say just please don’t kill me.

(source = ny daily news, image source = getty)

this (or Kim Kardashian) is the girl in Kanyes sex tape

By brendon September 24, 2012 @ 3:56 PM

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There are so many conflicting reports about the Kanye West sex tape that it’s hard to even keep up, especially since I don’t want to keep up because I’d rather picture my grandparents having sex than Kanye and various fat girls. But, for example…

STORY: Kanye and Kim Kardashian hired 25-year-old model Mony Monn to say she’s the girl in the tape because it’s actually Kim, and if that gets out Kim will lose millions in her still-pending divorce from Kris Humphries. (examiner)

THE EXACT OPPOSITE: Mony say’s it’s not her: “I have no idea what you guys are talking about, THERE IS NO such thing as sex tape of me.” (twitter)

STORY: There’s actually two Kanye sex tapes for sale. “We’re told the tapes were both shot several years ago with exes.” (tmz)

THE EXACT OPPOSITE: There’s one tape, “shot sometime shortly before Kanye started dating Kim (in April of this year).” (radar)

So the only thing we can say for certain is that Kris Jenner is cackling like a witch because of all this free publicity for Kim. Seriously, that bitch is evil. She should just move into a castle shaped like a skull and get it over with.

(image source of mony, who really does look a lot like kim = instagram)

Kanye West and a Kim look-a-like have a sex tape

By brendon September 21, 2012 @ 11:12 AM

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It seemed a little weird when Kanye West said he didn’t mind that Kim Kardashain was in a sex tape, but not only is he okay with it, but apparently he liked it so much that he made one just like it. And now that one is for sale too.

The tape is nearly 20 minutes long and appears to have been shot in a hotel room with an unidentified female who clearly states at the beginning of the video that she’s 18 years old.
With her bodacious curves, dusky skin and long black hair the woman is a definite dead ringer for Kim Kardashian.

Slutty, “dusky skin”, “long black hair”, and she’s selling her sex tape? I’m 95 percent certain at this point that this is just the real Kim Kardashian again.

(source = radar. image source = wenn)

Shakira is being blackmailed over a sex tape

By brendon September 06, 2012 @ 2:37 PM

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News reports from Spain and Mexico say Shaikira was filmed having sex on a yacht with her boyfriend, soccer star Gerard Piqué, by someone who worked for her and is now using it to blackmail her. An agent in Barcelona who saw the tape says…

“The video lasts about 15 minutes….it’s filmed with a cell phone, which I guess, belonged to Shakira’s employee who was at the helm of the boat that night. The images are not steady and it’s out of focus.”

So it’s shaky, blurry, and probably dark. How do we even know it’s her? Even if he says her name it won’t prove anything. If you watched my sex tapes you’d think my girlfriend was having sex with Matt Bomer, because that’s the name she calls out, and I don’t correct her because that’s her problem, not mine.

(source = fox sports)

Whitney Houston has a “ton” of sex tapes

By brendon March 21, 2012 @ 3:41 PM

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Ever wanted to watch a middle-aged, former pop star in a stoned haze mumble her way through listless sex? Me neither, but we might be able to anyway, because Ray J (whose penis made it’s national video debut inside Kim Kardashians mouth) is said to have “a ton of sexually explicit photos and videos” starring him and Whitney Houston.

Star says…

The Houston family has “been in contact with Ray and told him they do not want any photos or videos painting her in a bad light to come out,” the source said, adding the famous family “explained to Ray that now is the time to honor Whitney, not drag her legacy down.”

Um, her “legacy” is that she was a girl born to a family of famous singers, and she sang a few pop songs 20 years ago and then died after pissing away a hundred million dollars on drugs, thus leaving her only daughter nothing but debt and an addictive personality. Making a sex tape actually improves her image. It’s the only worthwhile thing she’s recorded since around 1995.

CONFLICTING UPDATE – as always, TMZ is now saying the exact oppisite of Star, specifically that these tapes don’t exist.

Hulk Hogan has a sex tape

By brendon March 07, 2012 @ 4:45 PM

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Until now the closest you could come to seeing Hulk Hogan having sex was the pictures of him seductively rubbing oil on his daughters ass or Sgt. Slaughter dry humping him at Wrestlemania VII. That Ends Now!

A sex tape has emerged featuring legendary wrestler Hulk Hogan. The footage is said to show the 58-year-old engaged in sexual relations with an unidentified brunette woman.
Hogan says that he was set-up, and that the tape, which is currently being shopped around, is an ‘outrageous invasion of privacy’ (which) was ‘secretly taped’ and that he never approved of it’s filming nor subsequent release.

He says that but at the end of the tape, the girl walks away and Hulk hits her in the back with a chair, then he flexes toward the camera and says Hulkamanaia just ran wild over her. So it sorta seems like he knew it was being filmed.