When the World First Learned that Kylo Ren Was Gay

Homophobes used to hang their hat on the fact that the gay gene would eventually perish since same sex couples couldn't reproduce. That point of view lacked logical consistency, historical reflection, and an appreciation for the emerging science of growing babies in petri dishes. All of which explains why new Star Wars villain Kylo Ren is super fucking gay. There have been a number of memes popping up on the Internet...

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Princess Leia Is Nuts And Shit Around The Web

Small understated indie film Star Wars: The Force Awakens premiered last night in Hollywood. The best part of the event was the expletive laced madness of Carrie Fisher on the red carpet. She's delightfully insane. No, but seriously. They do electroshock on her. (TMZ) Suzy Cortez is your new Miss Bumbum Brazil. (Last Men On Earth) Kate England is topless in Miami because why not? (Egotastic All-Stars) Miranda Kerr is...

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Disney Has a Star Wars Movie Breaching Every Ten Minutes

There are no nerds like Star Wars nerds. I think it might be their sheer number that put them atop the Chapstick smelling heap of whiny Internet geeks. They're autonomic nervous system depends upon other people interpreting the Star Wars universe according to their personal biblical orthodoxy. But Disney is an even more powerful machine that Star Wars nerds or Jesus and they don't give a fuck who cringes at the...

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Disney Being Upfront About Shitting on Star Wars

Star Wars episode VII easily could have been hyped with a two-year long publicity campaign talking about a wonderful new era of science fiction that also pays deference to cinematic legend. But give credit to Disney for taking over the Star Wars franchise and being very forthright about how they intend to turn the cultural phenomenon into a total and utter piece of shit. Disney kicked off their Star Wars Is Going to...

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Friday Morning Headlines

LOUIS CK - has been witnessed peeping into windows and watching underage girls getting undressed, according to flyers posted in Huntington Beach. He's not mentioned by name, so it may be a hoax or someone just used a picture that looked close enough, or maybe he really is doing it because how else are you supposed to watch underage girls take their clothes off? Most of them are so stuck-up they make a big deal out of...

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'Star Wars: Episode 7' may already have a director

Matthew Vaughn is kinda flaky, so it wasn't all that weird when he stepped away from directing the sequel to 'X-Men First Class' 2 weeks ago (he was quickly replaced by Bryan Singer). It will be even less weird if todays rumor from Collider is true and he did it because he was offered the job to direct 'Star Wars: Episode 7'. And though he's a great director and would be a terrific choice, it's still just a rumor for...

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Star Wars: The Sitcom

It's awesome that Red Letters 'Star Wars' prequel reviews have gone viral in the past view days, because he LOL'ingly points out (in a review that's longer than the movie) that George Lucas is a retard who has no idea WTF he's doing. 'Empire Strikes Back' is the main reason people love 'Star Wars', and that's the only one Lucas didn't write or direct. And it's a good thing, because when Lucas gets involved, shit like...

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