Stephen King Thinks The Farrows Are Bitches

By Jack February 07, 2014 @ 4:50 PM

Author Stephen King apologized for a Tweet in which he said that Dylan and Mia Farrow are going after Woody Allen out of “bitchiness”. For some reason the horror novelist hobbit thought it a good idea to enter the social media shit storm that is the Allen/Farrow molestation back and forth. People have been SCREAAMMMIINGGG in all caps on both sides of the issue for weeks now. Woody and Mia’s daughter Dylan recently drudged up the old allegations about her nebbish dad diddling her after he received a lifetime achievement award at the Golden Globes a few weeks back. When a fanboy asked Stephen King what he thought of the whole thing he tweeted,

“Boy, I’m stumped on that one. I don’t like to think it’s true, and there’s an element of palpable bitchery there, but…”

Then people jumped down his throat, came out his ass, and jumped back down his throat creating a virtual ass to mouth literary metaphor. People didn’t like that he was implying that there was sour grapes on Mia and Dylan’s behalf because of Woody breaking up with Mia then banging her adopted daughter, that slutty temptress, Soon Yi. Stephen King might turn out a 500 page book every week about something creepy happening in the woods, but he’s no match the for self-defined experts working 140 characters or less on Twitter. It’s like bringing a bazooka to a labia lip fight. Get out now, Stephen!

STEPHEN KING SAYS CHO WAS AN ASSHOLE

By brendon April 25, 2007 @ 10:36 AM

After the horrific events last week when student/nerd Cho Seung-Hui shot and killed 32 people on the campus of Virginia Tech, it was reveled that the English department had raised questions about his sanity as they read paper after paper of his containing images of persecution, revenge and anger, months before he eventually snapped.  Entertainment Weekly asked author Stephen King, something of an expert on images of violence, if he believes there is a link between literary expression and action.  Among other things, King says:

For most creative people, the imagination serves as an excretory channel for violence: We visualize what we will never actually do (James Patterson, for instance, a nice man who has all too often worked the street that my old friend George used to work). Cho doesn't strike me as in the least creative, however. Dude was crazy. Dude was, in the memorable phrasing of Nikki Giovanni, ''just mean.'' Essentially there's no story here, except for a paranoid asshole who went DEFCON-1. He may have been inspired by Columbine, but only because he was too dim to think up such a scenario on his own.
On the whole, I don't think you can pick these guys out based on their work, unless you look for violence unenlivened by any real talent.

You can read the whole thing here and you should because its really short and really awesome.  Cho was a rambling fuckin loser.  He managed to be boring even in a tape where he was pointing guns at the camera and threatening to kill himself.  That’s almost impossible to make dull but he found a way.  And it wasn’t even normal boring, it was aggressively boring.  I hated him for being so boring, I wanted to just go kick him in the nuts so at least then he would roll around saying oh my nuts or something.  Jesus dude, no wonder nobody like you, ya fuckin loser. 

(after careful consideration, I felt the best way to illustrate this sensitive topic was with an old picture showing Jessica Simpson tanning with her legs apart.  Click here for big.)