Taylor Swift Ruining Calvin Harris And Shit Around The Web

By Jack March 27, 2015 @ 12:00 PM

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America’s evil sweetheart Taylor Swift was seen kissing techno DJ Calvin Harris at a Kenny Chesney concert. Calvin Harris probably doesn’t know it yet, but there is no waving your hands in the air like you just don’t care in living hell.

See Swift and Harris doing something at Chesney’s shitty show. (TMZ)

Jessica Alba and Chrissy Teigen go splashy splashy in bikinis. (Huffington Post)

Zayn Malik said he left One Direction because they weren’t, like, real anymore. Were they ever? (Dlisted)

This is Gracie Chavers and her Instagram is pretty hot. (COED)

If you eat a Doritos encrusted meat on a stick at an MLB game your colon will never recover. (Busted Coverage)

Hot chicks in yoga pants. That is all. (The Chive)

Bella Thorne forgets her shirt while out on the town. (Popoholic)

Taylor Swift Jumps Into Porn Game

By Matt March 24, 2015 @ 7:33 AM

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Starting in June you will be able to buy Internet domain names ending in .porn, .sucks, .adult and 547 other options to guarantee you a great story to tell the guy trying to fix the malware on your computer. The move comes in response to the pleas of parents who claim adult content needs to be separate from the mainstream internet and coincidentally also work for Comcast. Taylor Swift has jumped ahead of the demand for fake novelty content and purchased the domains TaylorSwift.adult and TaylorSwift.porn. It is unclear if she is going to fill these sites with photoshopped images of herself blowing a midget but the smart money says not. I suppose this is a smart move if you don’t have much of a sense of humor. I’m pretty sure TaylorSwiftGangBang.porn is still available or countless other options if you apply your imagination. Or you could just use Google Images. That’s assuming you want to see Taylor Swift’s head on a porn star’s body while she gets railed by a footlong. I never did. Until now. It’s a rabbit hole. Bring on the domains!

Photo Credit: Instagram 

Taylor Swift Claims Jaime King’s Unborn

By Lex March 03, 2015 @ 12:25 PM

Taylor Swift Named Godmother to Jaime Kings Spawn LB
Jaime King suffered three hundred and forty seven miscarriages to bring her latest baby to fruition. One could take the gestational hardship as a sign that it was time to click out to MalawiBabiesNow.com. Or that Taylor Swift would come to lay hands upon her unborn child and announce the Dark Lord of Allentown Adjacent was pleased indeed. King and Swift announced on Instagram that Swift would be named godmother and false humility coach to King’s soon to be baby boy. Tyler Perry already snatched up Oprah so if you’re looking for the $200 million in the bank club, you’re down to Taylor Swift or Shelly Sterling, and Shelly Sterling can’t turn the Hokey Pokey with different words into a platinum selling single.

Photo Credit: Instagram/WWTDD Archives

Taylor Swift Is Your Woman of the Year

By Lex February 25, 2015 @ 12:32 PM

Taylor Swift Cleavy In Green Dress For 2015 Elle Style Awards
Taylor Swift barely beat out a woman in Sierra Leone who breastfeeds Ebola babies to be named Elle Woman of the Year. It was that close, with the pop music star’s agreement to show a little titty and buy out six VIP tables giving her the slight edge. You’ve got to pick somebody. Other awards at the event when to Rosie Huntington-Whiteley for aging out of modeling gracefully at twenty-seven and to Simon Cowell for banging a baby into his friend’s wife and not letting it ruin his summer. A bunch of awards went to fat people for not bitching about their segregation backstage in the world of style and fashion. Rebel Wilson punched a constable and bit the Queen’s veiny leg but Taylor Swift ordered her pardoned and everybody went home with something to talk about. Just one more year until the next Elle Awards!

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Guess Who Came To Dinner And Shit Around The Web

By Jack February 18, 2015 @ 12:00 PM

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Former enemies and fellow scalawags Taylor Swift and Kanye West met up for some dinner ahead of going into the studio to record a song together. It seems that the egomaniacs put that award show shit behind them in order to create one shitburger of a song. You can close your eyes, but you can’t make it go away.

Read all about this chode peace summit. (TMZ)

It’s colder than Santa’s dick here, but it’s bikini weather somewhere. (The Chive)

Isabella Farrell is topless and naughty for P. (Egotastic)

Amber Rose dresses like a carnival slut. (Huffington Post)

Alessandra Ambrosio bikinis like a champ. (Drunken Stepfather)

Emmy Rossum’s cleavage can be seen from space. (Hollywood Tuna)

Nicole Trunfio in lingerie? Don’t mind if I do. (Popoholic)

Taylor Swift In A Bikini Playing Queen

By Lex February 02, 2015 @ 1:27 PM

Taylor Swift Wears A Bikini During A Boat Trip In Maui
Taylor Swift continued her baby steps lesbian boat trip with the Haims, the three sisters from the San Fernando Valley who are opening for her on the next leg of her tour. Unlike many music artists who meet their opening acts moments before the curtain goes up on the first tour stop, Taylor prefers to take her table setters on girl getaways and vaguely lean into girl on girl lovemaking she’ll never quite consummate. Just enough for Taylor to let her seconds know she could make them pleasure her snatch if she so ordered, but not enough to reinforce her thirty-two hits about stupids boys is in anyway related to her fear of cock. Subtlety is so often lost on the greats who walk among us.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI