THE NEW ONE IS JUST WEEKS AWAY

Angelina Jolie will be able to pick up her newly adopted Vietnamese son faster than expected because her application is being processed so quickly.  The three year old boy – who was abandoned at a Ho Chi Minh City Hospital as a baby and then taken to a nearby orphanage where he has lived ever since – may arrive in as little as three weeks.  Sky News says:

"He is in good health, but he's a little bit shy.  He gets along well with other children and loves to play football."

Aww this little bastard.  He’s a dude and now he gets to go live with Angelina Jolie.  I bet he signed whatever he had to and dotted the I's with little hearts.  If I were this kid I would act up 8 times a day until I got a spanking.  And to show her how sorry I was I would show up with a ball gag in my mouth whenever it was time to be disciplined.  Please believe me when I tell you that Angelina Jolie could breath fire and I would still beg her for a blow job.