SURI CRUISE IS ONE YEAR OLD TODAY - the baby girl of Tom Crusie and Katie Holmes turns one year old today, as previously implied by the headline. It's not known if the parents will throw a party for their only child, but if they do, I think a good theme would be something based on the Green River Killer. Maybe Rommel.
PARIS MIGHT GO TO JAIL - Paris Hilton will face a judge on May 4th and might actually end up in jail. In January, Hilton pleaded no contest to alcohol-related reckless driving and was sentenced to 36 months probation. Just one month later, she was arrested for driving with a suspended license. This is a violation of her probation and prosecutors are asking for Paris to be sentenced to 90 days in jail. Prosecutors are also asking if it's bad to clean a toaster with a knife, or is that just an old wives tale.
SCIENTOLOGISTS ARE VULTURES - The Church of Scientology has dispatched "ministers" to provide "grief counseling" for students at Virginia Tech after a gunman killed 33 people on campus Monday. Critics say this is a familiar pattern and that Scientology routinely uses tragedy (such as 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina) to convert people when they are at their most vulnerable. Another time people are at their most vulnerable: near fresh cookies.
what a cutie putie baby
Yeah she’s cute, but born to nutjob parents!
Ugly little spud ain’t it? lol at the party themes.
I can convert a scientologist. That is to say, convert the inside of his ass to a scientoligist’s ass with my foot in it. It doesn’t take that long either.
Now that Suri is one year old she has been elevated to the rank of Grand Marshal Suri, Admiral of the Space Fleet of the United Planet Federation, and received the Medal of the Grand Exalted Order of Xenu, First Class. Salute her, dammit!
Also, that picture is old–Suri is now taller than Tom Cruise.
In other news, Paris Hilton admitted she recently got her breast implants so she would be more attractive to the bull dykes she is going to meet in jail.
I would love for Paris to see what real life is like. It won’t happen though. She’s in LA and you can kill people if you are rich and famous and get away with it there so driving offenses are nothing. (I’m looking at you OJ). lol Juan ‘All hail Grand Marshal Suri!’
Believe or Not juan. That might actually be true.;-)
LOL Juan (coffee everywhere)
FYI, one year on this planet is like nothing on planet Xenu.
Oh, PS Fuck scientologists! Right in the ass.
Happy birthday, little retarded baby!
I wonder if Paris can turn jail into reality show? Paris + Big Black Bull Dykes + Broomstick = Ratings Gold. That’s hot.
And the spinoff with her fuck buddy Joe Francis. Can’t wait.
Why is it when i`m around everyone talks about anal sex? c,mon tell me.
well rose mcgawon….aww damn. it was too easy.
Why is the baby’s lower lip never aligned with her upper lip?
Why can’t depressed Asian psychos go ballistic on the people that actually deserve it?
Wait for Suri to grow up, Ryan and you’ll get your wish. She is Asian, right? And she’s sure to be psycho.