Tom Cruise has attained the highest level one can reach in Scientology, and apparently that gives him the power to perform marriages inside the church. And now he might do it for the first time for pawn friend James Packer. Packer is a devout scientologist, and one of Australia’s richest men. Page Six says:
Tom Cruise is at the highest level of "clear" in Scientology - and now he may even perform a wedding for a friend, Australian heir James Packer, one of the church's richest benefactors. Packer, who inherited a $6.5 billion fortune when his father, Kerry, died last year, weds model-turned-singer Erica Baxter Wednesday on France's Cote d'Azur. A mystery client, believed to be Packer, has booked the entire Grand Hotel du Cap-Ferrat and the Hotel du Cap-Eden Roc, presumably for his guests.
I'm not sure how you make the leap from someone reserving a hotel to Tom Cruise marrying a billionaire, but whatever, because a scientology wedding would be awesome. The groom could wear a black jumpsuit with a super high collar that goes up above his ears and a long purple cape and the bride could wear a white and silver jumpsuit with hot pants and when they get to the front a silver spaceship with smoke coming from the bottom could be lowered down and a ramp would open and Tom Cruise would come out and next to him would be a midget in a robot outfit and a really tall guy with a lizard head on. And Tom would give the bride and groom some blue liquid to drink and that would mean they were now married and some crazy laser lights would start and the lizard and robot would dance and everyone would have a really good time.
erste!
Tom Cruise is the pinnacle of human achievement? Oh, shit.
The Church of Scientology is gonna slap this site with a lawsuit for defaming their messiah.
Tom was getting very excited at the Real Madrid title decider last night, cheering on David’s team. Katie was there too sporting a short haircut. It looked shit. She looked like a Quaker. As for creatures from another planet, they could always invite their good friend Victoria. She could play the robot and the lizard. Very versatile that Victoria.
That would be awesome.
he he me old mate Whitley Schreiber will be thrilled
Tom Cruise is a twat.
She looks like she's moving away from him psychologically. I can tell.
And good riddance I say, that pot belly top gun dick fart wizard should be shot balls first.
If you love me you must let me use the blue light saber on your asshole. It will provide a nice warming sensation followed by a brief period of power shitting. Then you will be 'clear'.
All Hail Darth Cruise
Look at the picture above – all he has to do is stare at Kattie Holmes, and by the power of his mind she starts to go fuzzy and fade out of existance. Or something…
Is anyone ever going to spend money on a Tom Cruise film again? Seriously?
I didn't think this was possible, but now Katie is as scary as he is. Those eyes.
Oh man, that's nuts but you made the wedding sound so freaking cool. I'm a pastry chef…maybe I could make them some sort of grand protein cake in the shape of a volcano and then it could explode delicious icing!!! And then Katie would run up to Tom and say "beedy beedy beedy, wanna dance Tom?" and we'd laugh and then the frame would freeze.
I think Cruise's pal Packer is pulling a fast one on his fiancee.
"Sure, honey, Tom has the power to marry us. It's perfectly legal."
Then after a week or two of hot sex, he says "take a hike, bitch, and don't let the doorknob hit you in the ass on your way out. Scientology marriage, indeed! Man, you're as dumb as Britney Spears."
Reminds me of the time I convinced Rikki Lake that the captain of the Staten Island Ferry could "marry" us. One hot weekend later, she was hitchhiking home sans underwear.
Maybe a cat
I never like Katie….never thought she was good looking.
And to answer your question Alan (9:09), I will absolutely not spend another dime on his movies. I refuse.
Scientologists should be raped with pitch forks
Stare into the hypnotic gaze of the Cruisester….."you will introduce me to your attractive male friends and speak not a word of what goes down……" Wait….damn Freudian slip….