CINDY CRAWFORD IS IN SECOND

Jennifer Tilly is 49 and the runaway winner of my penis in the previously uninvented Oldest Chick I Would Sling My Ropes On competition, but Cindy Crawford shouldn't take the news of her loss too hard.  She's just 41 and as you can tell by these weekend candids of her in Hawaii, she still looks good for her age.  Unfortunately for her Jennifer Tilly has used big-titted treachery (bam bitches) to stop the very hands of time.  If I remember Fermats Last Therom correctly, and I think I do, chicks with sexy voices and huge huge racks are good people, and better in every way than girls who have neither.  In fact, I heard that flat cheated girls steal.