Lindsay Lohan surrendered to authorities today to serve her time for 2 DUIs, 2 counts of possession of cocaine, transporting a narcotic into a custodial facility, driving on a suspended license, drinking underage and fleeing the scene of an accident. She turned herself in at 10:30am. She was released at 11:54am. She served a total of 84 minutes in jail. People.com says:
"Ms. Lohan was cooperative," sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore tells PEOPLE. "She was fingerprinted, photographed, and put in a holding cell, but was let go due to our early release policy."
Whitmore also confirmed that Lohan was strip searched as part of routine jail procedure.
84 minutes. For 2 DUIs and possession of cocaine. Oh and she still has her license. But I guess the sheriffs department is getting tougher, because 84 is two minutes longer than Nicole Richie got for her second DUI. God I hate this fucking town. I might just move to some farm in western Pennsylvania where they live like it's the 18th century. I'll ride horses and hunt turkeys with a musket, and wear a big shiny hat with those big buckles on it. I'll need to learn how to masturbate with butter or goose fat or something, but at least I won't have to live in a world where dumb spoiled whores are above the law and the highways are basically a killing chamber for the rich and famous.
Fihihihiiist
When you do the math, 84 minutes is about 12 times longer than it takes to endure sex with me. So I suppose you could call this hard time.
That's it, we need to take matters into our own hands. Everybody bitches about these degredations to society, but nobody actually does anything. I think it's time for some good ol' fashioned vigilante justice.
…Just as soon as I'm done masturbating to pictures of her tits.
Hey, props for going to West PA instead of the way over-stereotyped "deep south". I think we could all use a little more equity in which parts of the U.S. we routinely mock/romanticize for being backward.
Also, this is why if anybody is writing anything fictional (movie/novel/TV) where a city gets nuked, it should be L.A. if at all possible to work into the plot. I mean, I would hate for life to imitate art, but yeah…
first degree murder jail time must be downright cruel & unusual punishment. 8 hours behind bars, perhaps?
fuck anything and everything about Hollywood. the sooner a fucking earthquake turns everyone there into worm food, the better.
Well I got the spoiled and the whore part already, and once I get to the rich part I will finally become infallible.
Patience Edgardo, just save your pennies… one day… one day.
Man, I have to go sit in the sun for a few months and get some fake tits so I can do some coke and run some bitches down.
Pennsylvania like a motherfucker. You get all the sweet Amish American Princesses.
Although: LA is pretty safe if you don't get between Lindsay and a rail, or a cock. Small towns you've got, like, white people shooting other white people. Madness.
Actually, Eastern PA is where all the Amish are. But hey, I say go for it. They've got the best blow around.
I'd rape her!
84 minutes is enough time to bust out of jail on horseback. anyone seen prison break? god that bitch lindsay is dumb
gotta love hollywood.
if only my parole officer were so forgiving.
When you're done turkey hunting and masturbating with goosefat, let's hang out and have a Primanti's sammich! Thanks for the Western PA shoutout! Go Steelers!
words simply cannot describe how fucking livid I am after hearing this. I got a DUI a year and a half ago. One simple count of DUI. I just finished all my bullshit consequences last month. They put you through so much shit when you get a DUI here in Southern California.. they rape you up the ass, pretty much. This chick has 2 DUIs in a few months AND posession of coke, AND had comandeered a vehicle AND all that other bullshit….. I fucking hate the world. Or maybe I just hate Hollywood.
No, cause I like the rest of Hollywood. Just not this cunt. Or Unfitney. Or Paris. Man that really is the dream team of filthy diseased cunts, right there isn't it? They all deserve a gold medal.
84 minutes is about the time she needed to get fingerprinted, photographed and checked in. Oh, and to blow a few randoms.
you forgot the part where she does lines of blow off their pricks after blowing them, MG. It helps the coke stick better, supposedly.
At least that's what the hooker told me in Vegas.
Now she must serve 84mins on my dick.
You all have no sense of time. The cavity search alone might've taken 84 minutes.
GODFUCKING SHITCOCKS THIS IS THE DAMN LIMIT ASSHOLES, THE SHITCHRIST FUCKASS LIMIT
FUCK LINDSAY LOHAN
FUCK THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY
FUCK RICHARD REED
AND FUCK A MIGHTY PEAKTIT ON WHOEVER DEFENDS THESE SHITHEEL TITTYLICKING BONERIONS; FOR FUCKS SAKE, A BENUSWANK SPENDS MORE ASSRAPE HOLETIME IN THE SLAMMERDICK