COOLEST. STORY. EVER.

Just about two weeks ago, a model named Alexandra Paressant told X17 Online that she had been having an affair with Tony Parker, the San Antonio Spurs point guard and husband of Eva Longoria.  She offered several private text messages from Parker as proof and detailed their sex life, where they met, how they met and why Tony would cheat on Eva (she was boring in bed).  Parker and Longoria both vehemently denied the allegations and Parker sued X17.  Now, after some pretty impressive reporting by People, it turns out this bitch is nuts and Parker is telling the truth.  Not only is he not sleeping with Paressant, he's never even met her, the pictures she claims are her are really a German model named Hana Nitsche (above) and Paressant has done this sort of thing before with international soccer superstar Ronaldinho.  People reporter Dana Kennedy says:

I tracked down Paressant last week after getting a routine assignment by PEOPLE magazine: find the French model who says she met Parker at his big July wedding to Longoria and started sleeping with him in September.When I googled her, I got an eyeful: her ex-boyfriend was Ronaldinho. In 2006, he sued her for telling the press he'd been partying and having wild sex with her every night during the World Cup matches.I immediately assumed Tony Parker was a cad and Ronaldinho was an idiot – but I could understand why.The photos on Paressant's MySpace site were dazzling – they showed a knockout with long, dark hair and legs that stretched for miles. Here's what I didn't know:1. None of the photos on MySpace were of Paressant. They were different shots of similar-looking models. 2. Alexandra never had a relationship with Ronaldinho, according to his lawyer, who is also his brother, and there's no indication she ever met Tony Parker.

way more after the jump, totally worth it…