TOMS SECRETS MIGHT BE IN DANGER

The New York Post says that Tom Cruise has lost his Blackberry, and it's feared, based on stuff I'm making up right now, that some Canadian scoundrel out there now has access to his private information and secrets.  

After Cruise did a full-hour interview with "Entertainment Tonight Canada," his people called the studio asking if anyone had found the gadget. "A search was done, but, nada," Govani said. "So, basically, someone in Toronto has Top Gun's crackberry."

This might be interesting depending on how much stuff this goofy bastard has on there.  Hopefully he wrote down the secrets to Scientology, because many of us would love to know the truth, including how to defeat Xenus Seven Deadly Curses, and pass the impassable River of Flames!