McConaughey looks like a fool

By brendon May 21, 2009 @ 8:24 AM


I bet Mario Lopez is gonna have a good laugh when he sees Matthew McConaughey throwing out the first pitch at last nights Dodgers game. “What is he doing, haha!”, Mario will probably say. “Why is he on the mound? You’re supposed to scooch way way up, like I did (1). Or like that 100 pound girl from “the Hills” (2). Or the Kardashian girls (3). And then spaz out when you throw it, as if you were a retard trying to catch a butterfly (4).”

“52-year-old Tom Hanks made the same silly mistake last week in Japan (5). So did 62-year-old President Bush when he threw that strike after 911 (6). The Dodgers must have played a joke on Matt. They told me the same thing. They said, ‘don’t you think people will notice that you’re a boy and you’re standing in the middle of the grass like a woman?’ But I don’t think anyone noticed. I was very sensible. It’s dangerous to throw from the mound. It’s too far, and I heard that rubber strip is made of poison.”

(image source = splash)

(125) Comments

  1. avatar
    Texas Stunt Sock 05/21/2009 08:26

    There, Z. Now we can be friends again.

  2. avatar
    Mac-Daddy 05/21/2009 08:28


  3. avatar
    Zombie 05/21/2009 08:37

    Again? Did I miss something?

  4. avatar
    Texas Stunt Sock 05/21/2009 08:38

    It was a Tombstone quote. So, I guess you did miss something.

  5. avatar
    RedRage 05/21/2009 08:43

    Looks like Massengale is going for the sporty demographic with their first pitch promo in LA this week.

  6. avatar
    DumbBlondeArkie 05/21/2009 08:48

    I hate you NPD. Matthew McConaughey with a shirt ON?
    Thanks for nothin’!

  7. avatar
    Zombie 05/21/2009 08:49

    They have a Z in Tombstone? Must not have been the version I watched. By the way, has that Soulja Boy/Lil’ Bow Wow mixtape you ordered come in yet? I know you’re itching to hear those dopeass beats.

  8. avatar
    SuperB 05/21/2009 08:50

    Stop the mother fucking presses…

    I think he showered!!

  9. avatar
    SuperB 05/21/2009 08:54

    and from prev, WillieB, miracle is Red Bull mixed with Pedalyte, 2 Tylenol Arthritis and 2 Vit C tabs.

  10. avatar
    eibmoZ 05/21/2009 08:54

    It’s funny for a fucking WOP or spic or whatever the hell you are to be racist.

    I know daddy’s long gone and/or in prison, but seriously man. What nationality was he? I wanna say Italian, but your nose is kind of small. You got the dark hair, dark eyes, and skin. I’m gonna say daddy’s a spic.

    See if mommy will tell you when you get home. (If she can narrow it down.)

  11. avatar
    SinDs 05/21/2009 08:55

    He does look…clean.

  12. avatar
    Rick (with a silent P) 05/21/2009 08:56

    “I hate you NPD. Matthew McConaughey with a shirt ON?
    Thanks for nothin’!”

    DBA, on the plus side (so to speak), I am also wearing a shirt…so it’s not a complete loss…

  13. avatar
    Zombie 05/21/2009 08:59

    Bout time TSS. You should bring back your Cali27 username too, just for old time’s sake.

  14. avatar
    eibmoZ 05/21/2009 09:00

    Go fuck yourself, wetback.

    Wait. Mow my yard, then go fuck yourself.

  15. avatar
    SuperB 05/21/2009 09:07

    Yes, Sin, I am suddenly confused by this. Where are his bongos?

  16. avatar
    Rick (with a silent P) 05/21/2009 09:09

    “Yes, Sin, I am suddenly confused by this. Where are his bongos?”

    B, the “missus” has them and keeps them in a jar next to her side of the bed…he gets them for movie shoots and 15 minutes on Christmas Day…

  17. avatar
    Watt(Power) 05/21/2009 09:09

    And his weed B don’t forget the weed.

  18. avatar
    SinDs 05/21/2009 09:11

    Yes, the bongos. This is very strange indeed! Truth be told I don’t mind his grunge-iness.

  19. avatar
    CB007 05/21/2009 09:14

    He is hot, ridiculously hot, I agree though, lose the shirt and then we’ll be talking…

  20. avatar
    pepper 05/21/2009 09:15

    Well this sucks…only 28 years old..

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