anna nicole smith: murderer!

By brendon October 07, 2009 @ 12:45 PM


When Anna Nicole Smith married oil-millionaire Howard Marshall in 1994, she was 26 and he was 89. He died just about one year later, no doubt smiling. This began the legal fight for his fortune, estimated at around 550M.  Marshalls son, not unreasonably, thought Smith didn’t deserve her dads money and so he took her to court. Smith could either walk away from the money or fight for it in court. Oh and there was one more option: MURDER!!!

The FBI investigated whether Anna Nicole Smith plotted to kill her tycoon husband’s son as they battled for his father’s fortune, but the former Playboy Playmate who died in 2007 was never prosecuted.
Smith’s FBI records, obtained exclusively by The Associated Press, say the agency investigated Smith in 2000 and 2001 in a murder-for-hire plot targeting E. Pierce Marshall … (he) died three years ago of natural causes.

OR DID HE? (cue ominous “dun-dun-dun” music). Wait no. No he did die of natural causes. Because there’s zero chance Anna Nicole Smith was smart enough to orchestrate a murder, and a negative zero chance she was smart enough to hide it from the FBI. At best her plan would be to invite him over and offer him poison to drink, but when she gave it to him it would be this boiling green sludge with fog coming off the top. “No, driink it, is good. I jus’ had one so I downe really want another raght now but you should drink yurs. Go on drink it.”

(84) Comments

  1. avatar
    SinDs 10/07/2009 12:48

    I would have murdered him if I were her

  2. avatar
    Rusty Sanchez 10/07/2009 12:49

    I’d murder her with my meat sabre.

  3. avatar
    Jean-Claude Van Douche 10/07/2009 12:53


  4. avatar
    Woodsman 10/07/2009 12:54

    Rusty: get in line

  5. avatar
    Rusty Sanchez 10/07/2009 12:55

    I’ve been in line Wood. You want back-cuts?

  6. avatar
    Woodsman 10/07/2009 12:55

    … that is, if she was still alive.

  7. avatar
    RedRage 10/07/2009 12:57

    Dude fucked up by not removing her teeth and fingers!

    I wonder what her pussy smells like right now?

  8. avatar
    Rusty Sanchez 10/07/2009 12:58

    Details, details Wood. I don’t sweat the small stuff.

  9. avatar
    Headly 10/07/2009 12:58

    She’s two parts of my FMK, and “marry” isn’t one of them.

  10. avatar
    Headly 10/07/2009 12:58

    Are you chewing GUM in line????

  11. avatar
    DB's Treasure 10/07/2009 13:00

    I’d mung her dead body.

  12. avatar
    dirtydiane 10/07/2009 13:00

    her tv show when she was all fat and bloated was like a damn train wreck. you want to look away, but you just can’t…it was so awesomely bad.

  13. avatar
    Rusty Sanchez 10/07/2009 13:00

    ::ashamed:: Yes Headly. No I didnt bring enough for everyone.

  14. avatar
    Woodsman 10/07/2009 13:00

    it’s Nicorette

  15. avatar
    DarkCherry 10/07/2009 13:00

    you know, if the old coot wanted to marry young pussy and give away all his money to it when he died so be it!

    it’s no worse than the son thinking he’s entitled to it just because he’s the son. did he work for an earn the millions? prob not. so really how does he deserve the money over her?

    i mean aren’t they all dead anyway and the real question is will this money go to ANS’s kid?

  16. avatar
    RedRage 10/07/2009 13:01

    DB, your avi just made my pants feel tighter.

  17. avatar
    Watt 10/07/2009 13:02


  18. avatar
    Rusty Sanchez 10/07/2009 13:03

    DB, your avi is stealing my avi’s thunder, but I’m not complaining.

  19. avatar
    Headly 10/07/2009 13:03

    Nicorette, great answer. And I suppose Rage got it from you. very well…

    :::slips derringer back in waistcoat pocket:::

  20. avatar
    DB's Treasure 10/07/2009 13:03

    For those who don’t know what I’m talking about when I said “mung”

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