tiger woods is in a sex rehab, part 2

By brendon January 18, 2010 @ 2:32 PM


Friday it was reported that Tiger Woods had entered a sex rehab clinic in Mississippi, the birthplace of weird sexual behavior. Today the National Enquirer, who initially broke the Tiger Woods cheating scandal, confirms that report, and adds that hopefully he’s making lots of new friends because his wife has yet to visit him.

Tiger is undergoing a six-week intensive treatment directed by Dr. Patrick Carnes, who pioneered treatment for sexually compulsive behavior.
Yet, he’s already planning his comeback and aiming to be back on the PGA tour by Spring possibly for the Masters Tournament April 5.
Meanwhile his wife Elin who has been consulting with a top celeb divorce lawyer is still not wearing her wedding ring in public and has yet to visit her promiscuous hubby in the cloistered rehab facility.

Good. Awesome. Forget about that dork. This chick is an easily tricked hot Swedish model just a few months away from cashing a check worth several hundred million dollars. The only way she could be any more of a perfect potential girlfriend is if she naturally produced kool-aid and tasted like grape when you went down on her.

(123) Comments

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  2. avatar
    teflon juan 01/18/2010 14:40


  3. avatar
    Zombie 01/18/2010 14:40

    DB, I’m happy for the Vikings too. Jared Allen and the D-line shut Romo the fuck down. I’m also glad the Jets won. I wasn’t rooting for them originally because I’m sick of NY teams, but after watching Phillip Rivers show his ass like a little bitch in the 1st quarter I shifted my chants to the underdog Jets. Rookie quarterback, rookie coach headed to the championship game? Awesome.

    I still see a Colts/Vikings Super Bowl… but who knows.

  4. avatar
    J-Sausage 01/18/2010 14:41

    Thank god the hairy legs aren’t at the top of the page now. That was bad.

  5. avatar
    pepper 01/18/2010 14:42

    It will be Colts vs Vikings…
    Zombie, want to bet?

  6. avatar
    Headly 01/18/2010 14:42

    Deebs, from last: Like the Saints too, not only for the fact that it would be nice to see them finally get to the Big Show, but for strictly selfish reasons too: This town rains ass and booze when they win big ones. Saturday night was some of the wildest shit I’ve seen here. If they get to the Bowl, it’ll be bigger than Mardi Gras (which will be going on during the Super Bowl) and if they win the Bowl, it will be like New Years, Mardi Gras, and St Patricks Day all at once. It will be a sexula compulsive alcoholic’s Disneyworld. I’m giddy with excitement….

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    SuperB 01/18/2010 14:43

    I said it at season start, Vikes were one of the most complete teams, and when everyone was bitching about FAVVVVVVVRE, it made sense. Good line, great D, decent receivers and the run, they needed a leader, and they got one.

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    Naddz Dangle 01/18/2010 14:44

    Who the fu*k cares about Tiger and whomever he is current fu*king or not fu*king? I want to know when Elin is going to do her “born out of spite nude spread” for whatever magazine she is going to do it for…

    Is that too much to hope for?

  9. avatar
    Headly 01/18/2010 14:45

    Pep, I hope you’re wrong but I gotta feeling you’re probably right about that.

  10. avatar
    Zombie 01/18/2010 14:47

    I just hope the championship games are better than the ones this past weekend. At this point I don’t really care who wins, but damn, I’d rather them be close competitive match-ups instead of complete blowouts.

  11. avatar
    Headly 01/18/2010 14:47

    And I see what you’re doing there, Brendoon. All of your posts today have schvartzes in them. Pouring some love out for the homies on MLK day, huh?

  12. avatar
    whatizdat 01/18/2010 14:48

    I picked the wrong day to stop smokin dust!

  13. avatar
    SuperB 01/18/2010 14:48

    At first I thought the AZ-Saints game was gonna be good, Z, with the winner being whoever played D and some like huge scoring game…

    Then first turnover happened and it was downhill from there.

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    Headly 01/18/2010 14:49

    That’s true, Zombie. I was surprised at both games. You’d think that at this point, it wouldve been a lot more competitive.

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    Zombie 01/18/2010 14:49

    Headly, your Saints have home field advantage for the NFC Championship. That will make a BIG difference. I could barely hear the announcers over the crowd Saturday night. Imagine being visitor team on the field trying to call an audible.

  16. avatar
    Dr. Rosenrosen 01/18/2010 14:51

    Happy James Earl Ray Day!

  17. avatar
    SuperB 01/18/2010 14:52

    I just basically want to see Pey Pey get his little hopes and dreams crushed…I am sick to death of that Opie Taylor looking mother fucker

  18. avatar
    Headly 01/18/2010 14:52

    Z, man, it’s absolutely deafening in there. When Bush got that running TD, I couldn’t hear the guy next to me. It’s actually painful. So yeah, I think it will be a serious advantage.

  19. avatar
    Headly 01/18/2010 14:53

    Sup, that really cracked me the fuck up, hahahahahahaha!

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    ohmwrecker 01/18/2010 14:57

    Is it just me or does the Vikings coach look like a homeless man? Is he missing teeth? They totally exposed the Cowboys. Romo is still a loser and Jerry Jones’ bad karma continues. That said, the Vikes won’t be running up the score on the Saints.

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