lindsay is staying in france

Just 24 hours ago Lindsay Lohan was claiming she couldn’t get back to the United States because every flight was still packed after the volcanic ash delays last month. That lie was retarded, and so now I guess we’re starting over, because the new lie is…

“Her passport was stolen,” attorney Shawn Chapman Holley tells E! News. “She is doing everything in her power to get a temporary passport and get home.”
Apparently, the options Lohan has exhausted include partying on the French Riviera into the very early hours, kicking British pop stars out of clubs and flirting with the boyfriends of former costars.

Oh gosh! And that judge has been talking so tough! I bet Lindsay is really in for it this time!

Oh wait never mind…

“Judge Revel really has a tendency to give people a second chance,” he said. “She has a reputation for being harsh in the past, but she has mellowed on her years on the bench. I think she will give Lindsay a chance to finish the alcohol program before dealing with her harshly.
“So as long as Lindsay has not violated the law, most judges have a tendency to be flexible.”

Oh gee there’s a fuckin surprise. So Lindsay won’t go to jail, and that is infuriating. Not only should the judge lock her up, she should hit Lindsay with a bunch of law books and then make her eat the pages one by one. Maybe some respect for the law will get adsorbed in through her bloodstream.