wednesday headlines

By brendon June 30, 2010 @ 11:04 AM


LARRY KING – announced his retirement last night and ‘Americas Got Talent’ judge Piers Morgan could sign a deal to replace him as early as today. King had no comment about Morgan because CNN had already pushed him down the stairs and locked the door behind him. (radar)

WONDER WOMAN – has a new costume and her slutty bodysuit has been replaced with pants and a jacket. The new writer also wanted to, “give her breast reduction surgery.” You’ve just made yourself a powerful new enemy, you sick son of a bitch. (ny times)

EMINEM – sold 741,000 copies of ‘Recovery’ last week, the biggest debut since 2008. The biggest debut of the decade of course was when my ex girlfriend saw my dick for the first time. Seriously. It’s humongous. Call me ladies! (yahoo)

ZOE SALDANA – is engaged. To a white guy. First Halle Berry now Zoe. Who does Seleta Ebanks date? Black guys won’t take this much longer, not when we’re giving them Khloe Kardashian in exchange. We could be on the verge of a race war. (msnbc)

JESSICA ALBA – is in Paris, but more to the point she looks fantastic in shorts. Too bad about that dumb kid, but at least Jessica didn’t get fat. That would be a much tougher problem. You can’t drown fat in a sink and throw it in a dumpster if you catch my drift. (splash)


(59) Comments

  1. avatar
    SALAJ 06/30/2010 11:05

    If you are looking for a partner based on lifestyle and physical chemistry as well as personal beliefs and common interests, you may try ** — –** Good Luck:)

  2. avatar
    MrAdams 06/30/2010 11:16

    I heard he’s going to start a new show: “Larry King Dead”.

  3. avatar
    Chicago_animal 06/30/2010 11:18

    M&m still around..people still listen to him?

  4. avatar
    Chicago_animal 06/30/2010 11:23

    And people still report info on him?

  5. avatar
    Slaappy 06/30/2010 11:25

    Wonder woman activate phallis symbols!

  6. avatar
    RemSteale 06/30/2010 11:25

    No more slutty Wonder Woman?


  7. avatar
    Bono is a cunt 06/30/2010 11:28

    Ha. You’re a funny bastard.

  8. avatar
    Mac-Daddy 06/30/2010 11:29

    and these are headlines?

    Fuck Wonder Woman. They need to bring back that Michelle Ryan girl that played the New Bionic woman!

    The show sucked, but dayum did she have some nice tits!

  9. avatar
    RemSteale 06/30/2010 11:30

    Had to go and look for the new costume.

    Looks like one of Joan Jett’s stage costumes:

  10. avatar
  11. avatar
    RemSteale 06/30/2010 11:32

    Michelle Ryan is one of my all time favourites.

    Hot arse too

  12. avatar
    Woodsman 06/30/2010 11:36

    Rok: from previoius, salmon come “pre-lubed” but they’re more orally fixated

  13. avatar
    Mac-Daddy 06/30/2010 11:37

    Hell yea Rem…she just has that overall look.

    It’s hard to explain….

    Her and Katherine McPhee…..I want a tag team with those two!!

  14. avatar
    RemSteale 06/30/2010 11:40

    Now there’s a paring I hadnt considered before Mac, but damn it would work.

    Throw in Mila Kunis as well maybe……??

  15. avatar
    Zombie 06/30/2010 11:45

    Zoe Saldana is not really getting married. She’s just shooting scenes for Guess Who 2.

  16. avatar
    Watt 06/30/2010 11:52

    Slutty rainbow Bright wins all

  17. avatar
    RemSteale 06/30/2010 11:54

  18. avatar
    Rokan 06/30/2010 11:54

    We have some nice coho and king salmon in Michigan. Never fucked one. Course, they don’t come that big where I live.

    . . . That’s what she said.

  19. avatar
    Watt 06/30/2010 12:00

    Hell yes rem.

  20. avatar
    heli prompter 06/30/2010 12:02

    Larry King has 41 viewers….that old bastard is irrelevant.

    On a lighter note, at least we know Jessica Alba puts out…

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