Ashton Kutcher is cheating on Demi Moore

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore started dating in 2003 and got married in 2005, but they’ve always been an unlikely couple. Not because of the 15 year age difference (she’s 47, he’s 32) but because she’s a good actress and seems nice, whereas he’s a smug fuking retard.

In a related topic, the new Star cover story says he’s cheating on her.

…an eyewitness saw (Ashton) kissing and groping a hot young blonde by an out-of-the-way bathroom at Italian restaurant Madeo in L.A.
“Ashton had this gorgeous girl pinned against the wall, and he was totally making out with her,” an eyewitness, who was on his way to the restroom tells Star. “I was shocked to see him sucking face with a girl who obviously wasn’t Demi.”

It actually makes me wonder what’s wrong with this jackass if he only started cheating now. He’s a rich Hollywood celebrity, and he was in a monogamous relationship from age 25 to 32? What kind of weirdo does something like that?

The only reasonable explanation is that there’s something wrong with his dick, so he and his worthless genitals found a girl good at keeping secrets and married her. I could never do that. I’d like to, but I produce a natural pheromone that women find irresistible. It’s my blessing, and my curse.