Charlie Sheen edition headlines

March 9, 2011 | celebrity | editor | 0 Comments

If you told 10 people that you were planning to go on TV with some porn stars and call yourself a warlock and say how much you love drugs and tell your boss to go fuck himself, I bet almost none of them would say, “Oh yeah that’s a good idea.”

And yet that’s what Charlie Sheen is expecting from people who work with him, specifically his Two and a Half Men co-star Jon Cryer. But Cryer hasn’t, and Sheen is handling it just as you might expect. He tells E!

“Jon has not called me. He’s a turncoat, a traitor, a troll. Clearly he’s a troll. He issued a statement. Is it gonna take me calling him a ‘traitor, juvenile and scared’ for him to get it?”

You’re gonna find this astounding but Sheen has his facts wrong, and Cryer has not issued a statement. But would Sheen talk to him if he did?

“What’s there to say? I’ll tell him ‘You’re a little late. Goodbye, troll.’ When I’m starring in multimillion-dollar films and he’s begging me for a supporting role I’ll say, ‘You left me out in the cold with all of your guilt and stupidity.’ “

I bet when Sheen announces his new movie, “The Warlock Who Traveled To The Pits Of Doom And Killed All The Trolls Even Chuck Lorres Mom Who Is A Whore And Had A DIck In Her Mouth When He Killed Her And It Was A Black Guys Dick And She Was All Like, Yeah Yeah I’m Chuck Lorres Mom And I Love This Black Guys Dick”, Cryer is gonna feel pretty silly.

In other Sheen news…

WARNER BROTHERS – fired Sheen yesterday on grounds that he violated the morals clause in his contract, so Sheen is suing them because he says he doesn’t even have a morals clause. In a sense, they’re both right. Except for Sheen. Who is wrong. (hollywood reporter)

ROB LOWE – is the new big name meeting with producer Chuck Lorre to replace Sheen on Two and a Half Men. First John Stamos, now Rob Lowe. It’s a parade of comedy legends. (tmz)

AUBREY O’DAY – bent over with her big jugs in a low cut dress while having her hands set in cement outside Planet Hollywood in Vegas. This is related to Sheen in the sense that he likes girls who look slutty.

Tags: aubrey o'day charlie sheen chuck lorre headlines jon cryer rob lowe

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