Kirstie Alley is practicing for Dancing With The Stars

Kirstie Alley, who is 4000 years old, put on a food-stain-hiding outfit and got to work yesterday practicing for this seasons Dancing With The Stars.

For the record, we shouldn’t make fun of her because she’s fat, but because she spent all last year on her twitter tricking people into buying diet pills made by a company secretly owned by scientology and now still weighs more than the car she’s getting into. I’m amazed it didn’t just go around in circles when they started it because the tires on her side had broken through the concrete.

Her partner, who could have gotten paired up with Kendra Wilkinson or Petra Nemcova, has his work cut out for him. Step one will be to find a way for Kirstie to do the steps without literally dying. Not the dance steps, but the two stairs outside the studio.