Jessica Alba is in a bikini, but still pregnant

By brendon May 12, 2011 @ 9:19 AM


Everyone agrees that pregnant chicks are creepy looking, if not outright disgusting, but what if that pregnant chick is Jessica Alba, one of the hottest girls ever, and she’s in a bikini? Because Jessica was in a bikini yesterday down in Mexico. What about then?

The surprising answer is that it’s still gross, because even though her tits have doubled in size, which is good, the right one now has these big veins in it, which is bad. It makes you wonder if her husband, who has been watching his gorgeous wife morph into this monster because there’s a parasite inside of her feeding of it’s host and stealing her beauty, only brought her to that filthy shit hole in hopes she got poisoned. So he’s filling empty smartwater bottles from a hose in some filthy neighborhood and giving it to her, and secretly ordering lots of food with raw fish and beef. If so it’s the only admirable thing he’s ever done.

(image source = splash news)

(38) Comments

  1. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 05/12/2011 09:25

    Well, thats the end of that. All we are left with is the memories. Thank God they are on film!

  2. avatar
    BigPitt 05/12/2011 09:41

    And I thought it would be impossible to make her look any way where I wouldn’t have sex with her. Ah, who am I kidding…

    Brendan…you must be very proud of your LSU campus for chasing off the flag-burning hippies. Geaux Tigers!

  3. avatar
  4. avatar
    Mac-Daddy 05/12/2011 10:06

    Mr. Nutt! Movie looks good! LOL

    Also, Brendumb, it might help you to know that ALL women love anal when they are pregnant!

    Bend Alba over and poke her ass….Baby is out of mind!

  5. avatar
    SomeoneluvsU 05/12/2011 10:15

    I’m not sure which part of that film is scarier Nutt,
    Aniston being clingy with the banana
    or Colin Farrell’s comb over.

  6. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 05/12/2011 10:30

    Jessica needs to surround herself with skinny people. She is obviously trying to emulate her friend in the photo above. Back fat rolls…..eeewwwwww.

  7. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 05/12/2011 11:07

    Don’t these people have enough money to pay someone else to have that baby for her? She needs to protect her body. That’s what makes her money.

  8. avatar
    Observer 05/12/2011 11:09

    I’d pork her tits… questions asked…….

    …..I’d pork her pussy…….with a few questions… “Can you take ALL four inches, bitch?” …or “is it in yet?”

  9. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 05/12/2011 11:10

    Here is my egg and some sperm. Put that in this turkey baster and shoot it in your vagina. I’ll pay you. Gotta go make movies now.

    Is it not that easy?

  10. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 05/12/2011 11:13

    It looks like if you lived with her you would starve to death. She would charge at you with a blood curdling scream if you went anywhere near the Ho-ho’s.

  11. avatar
    One Puppet To Rule Them All 05/12/2011 11:15

    i stopped giving a fuck about Jessica alba about 3 years ago. My penis stopped caring about her about 2 years ago…….

  12. avatar
    SomeoneluvsU 05/12/2011 11:48

    I’m with Captain Ahab on this one

  13. avatar
    One Puppet To Rule Them All 05/12/2011 11:51

    what’s up with her titty veins? kinda weird.

  14. avatar
    i hate you 05/12/2011 12:08

    thank you for ruining one of my top 5 asshole.

    in case any of you missed it last night, rokan is a bald, nigerian rapper. this a true statement.

    …and nutt seems to surround himself with children and dance.

  15. avatar
    One Puppet To Rule Them All 05/12/2011 12:21

    there are a bunch of hollywood stories going around today. put SOMETHING up other then this horrendous mutilated mommy mammory!

  16. avatar
    One Puppet To Rule Them All 05/12/2011 12:22


  17. avatar
    i hate you 05/12/2011 12:23


  18. avatar
    i hate you 05/12/2011 12:24


  19. avatar
    i hate you 05/12/2011 12:24


  20. avatar
    i hate you 05/12/2011 12:24

    Twennie, Twen, Twennnnn

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