Jim Carrey is insane, hearts Emma Stone

By brendon August 25, 2011 @ 12:07 PM

As far as I can tell Jim Carey has never even met Emma Stone, but, no, really Jim, please don’t let that dissuade you in any way from telling the entire world how badly you want to fuck her.

Here’s a transcript.

“I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re all the way beautiful. Not just pretty, but, you know, smart and kindhearted. And if I were a lot younger, I would marry you, and we would have chubby little freckled faced kids. We’d laugh all day long and go camping and play Yahtzee and tell ghost stories by the fire. And the sex? Everyday for the rest of your life, you would thank God that I was the appropriate age for you. But I’m not. I’m 49. I have lines on my face, sometimes a little grey in my beard, and it takes me a little longer to pee than it used to. Those are the only discernible signs of aging that I can find so far.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know how I felt. You’re pretty special, and I wish you continued success and artistic fulfillment, but most of all, I wish you love and contentment. That’s all.”

She’s 22 by the way. So yes, Jim Carrey, who is 49, went on youtube because he really wants to fuck a 22 year old stranger. And he assumed the best way to accomplish that was to tell several million people about his erection and hope one of them tells her so she can take care of it. I would assume it’s a joke but Jim Carrey is insane, and he has hundreds of millions of dollars, so Emma better hide somewhere good before he kidnaps her and holds her hostage on a plane that never lands, it just refuels in mid air and he never touches the ground like that rich guy in ‘Contact’.

(16) Comments

  1. avatar
    Pepper 08/25/2011 12:10

    22 ah…..So,….where is the problem?

  2. avatar
    Pepper 08/25/2011 12:11

    What does the Autistic kid have to say about this?

  3. avatar
    mandwarf 08/25/2011 12:22

    I love this blog because you always manage to find the most ridiculous shit as opposed to some of these others sites that are just like “THIS ACTRESS WASNT WEARING MAKEUP LOOK AT HER NOW”

    Jim Carrey was the best…in the 90s…but this is just creeptacular.

  4. avatar
    Mr. Poop 08/25/2011 12:22

    Jim Carrey was funny back in the 90′s.

    Or was that the 80′s?

  5. avatar
    Mr. Poop 08/25/2011 12:24


    Kudos. We’re all pretty happy that WWTDD has turned PG-13 as opposed to the other site which glorify nipples and camel-toe.

    America, Fuck Yeah!!!!

  6. avatar
    LandofNopeandTory 08/25/2011 12:31

    Its not like these guys can just go out and buy a ferrari or a speedboat for their mid-life crises is it?

  7. avatar
    Observer 08/25/2011 12:51

    Jim Carrey was FUNNY….?

    …I must have missed that episode of “Nagger Brothers, Wayan”….

  8. avatar
    CrappyCar 08/25/2011 13:01

    The bitterness is strong with this post.

  9. avatar
    Mr. Poop 08/25/2011 13:05

    New up, Fuck-sticks.

    Oh . . . And Finkle. New Observer is looking for you.

  10. avatar
    jenniferDan 08/25/2011 14:27

    I just paíd $20.87 for an íPad 2.64GB and my boyfriend loves his Panasoníc Lumíx GF 1 Cámera that we got for $38.79 there arriving tomorrow by UP S.I will never pay such expensive retail príces in stores again. Especially when I also sold a 40 inch LCD T V to my boss for $657 which only cost me $62.81 to buy.
    Here is the website we use to get it all from :

  11. avatar
    macgruder 08/25/2011 14:41

    I’m pretty sure it’s a spoof of this video:


    or it could be the reverse, who knows? Internet, you so crazy!

  12. avatar
    Admiral 08/25/2011 14:47

    In Carrey’s defense, everyone wants to fuck Emma Stone. Even the ladies.

    And hey, in 11 years Jim Carrey will be 60 – now THAT is wild.

  13. avatar
    MS007 08/25/2011 16:08

    This is the shit you can get away with when you are flithy rich and famous. Any other person would already be in handcuffs with a restrainer order glued to their forehead.

  14. avatar
    WitStream1 08/25/2011 16:45

    I’m guessing this was a publicity stunt—he does have a new Web site, after all. It may also be an inside joke between he and Ms. Stone, who he may have already tagged anyway, for all that we know. One thing’s for sure: Carrey can certainly call and pick up an “Emma Stone” whenever he feels like it anyway.

  15. avatar
    TwahnCorleone 08/25/2011 18:14

    I didn’t know charlie sheen was in The Mask

  16. avatar
    zaicaonimei 08/25/2011 21:33

    Come go and see, will not regret it Oh look


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