Brad Pitt is on the cover of Sports Illustrated

By brendon September 19, 2011 @ 6:25 PM

moneyball

So apparently there’s someone at Sports Illustrated even more inept than Peter King, and that’s whoever is in charge of their covers. I’m the biggest Brad Pitt fan on earth, but what the fuck.

If you missed it, the movie is about Billy Beane, the general manager for the Oakland A’s since 1998, and the radical way of choosing players he has to use because the team has no money to spend on payroll.

The reason this is a weird concept for a movie is because his system sucks. He’s never won the American League, the A’s haven’t had a winning record in 5 years, and the goofy old scouts this movie makes fun of choose the AL Rookie of the Year in 1986, 87, and 88, the only time one team has ever won the award three times in a row. It’s also weird because Oakland is far from the lowest payroll in baseball. Out of 30 teams, they’re number 21. Number 29, second to last, is Tampa Bay, who is actually awesome.

So I guess the hook here is that it’s an inspiring story about following your dreams, especially if your dream is to be rich and famous despite not be very good at anything.

wwtdd

(42) Comments

  1. BALLSY 09/19/2011 18:26

    I didn’t know Jolies’ Bitch was a sport

  2. iSlomoshun 09/19/2011 18:34

    Somehow I missed the part where they said this movie was an accurate portrayal of Billy Beane.

    I thought this was just like any other movie.

    Stop taking shit so literal you idiot.

  3. Smacko 09/19/2011 18:34

    Ballsy,

    I see your soul.

  4. Mr. Pickles 09/19/2011 18:43

    I am virgin.

    WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

  5. JeanRalpphio 09/19/2011 18:45

    Those goofy scouts thought Walt Weiss, Mark McGwire and Jose Canseco were going to be good? I’m pretty sure everyone thought those guys were going to be good. Weiss and McGwire were first round picks and while its true Canseco was a 15th rounder…he somehow exceeded any and all expectations…somehow. Not sure how…I’m sure there was a reason!

    Also, the “shitty” system of exploiting market deficiencies to improve your roster somehow won the Red Sox two world titles and the Rays an AL pennant. Also, the A’s did win, what, 5 straight AL West titles?

  6. BALLSY 09/19/2011 18:51

    i bet a bat fits up his ass!

  7. luke 09/19/2011 18:54

    the dodgers have won MORE than three rookie of the years in a row, TWICE. 1979-82 and 1992-96.

  8. Wowzersinmytrowzers 09/19/2011 19:03

    You’re a fucking moron. A shitload of teams use sabermetrics to draft players, not just Oakland.

  9. Wowzersinmytrowzers 09/19/2011 19:04

    And yeah, Peter King is inept…if inept means being possibly the best NFL football writer in the business, and having your Monday Morning Quarterback column as one of the most viewed things in the entire fucking internet every week during the season.
    I love your website, but jesus fucking christ you’ve gone down the shitter lately.

  10. SexyRicardSimmons 09/19/2011 19:06

    What does that fat hebe Jonah Hill do in the movie? Play the ballpark?

  11. hardcopy 09/19/2011 19:09

    His system sucks…

    “It’s how the Red Sox live or die”. Says so on the cover. The Red Sox suck too, right?

    Read the book. Until then keep the snark to celebrities because you know fuck all about baseball.

  12. Mr. Nutt 09/19/2011 19:13

    So I guess the hook here is that it’s an inspiring story about following your dreams, especially if your dream is to be rich and famous despite not be very good at anything.
    Kim Kardashian read this and a small tear appeared in her left eye.

  13. i hate you 09/19/2011 19:21

    curt schilling was a red sox cocksucker and i hope he gets hit by a bus. he resembles ballsy’s avi in person. i actually may have to watch baseball given the performance of my football team. fuck.

    pickles will fuck anything. virgin, yeah right.

  14. Mr. Nutt 09/19/2011 19:26

    What’s baseball? Sounds made up.

  15. Mr. Nutt 09/19/2011 19:28

    Are there steroids in this game you call baseball?

  16. MrAdams 09/19/2011 19:28

    “I’m the biggest Brad Pitt fan on earth, and I want to fuck him in the butt.”

    That’s what I figured.

  17. Mr. Pickles 09/19/2011 19:32

    I might give Brad Pitt a handski. BALLSY your avitar is smelly like your breathe.

    WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

  18. Mr. Nutt 09/19/2011 19:34

    Slaughter ball! Now thats a sport! If you play slaughter ball you have something in common with porn stars and Joust. getting hit in the face with balls.

  19. i hate you 09/19/2011 19:51

    balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls ballsballs balls balls balls ballsballs balls balls balls ballsballs balls balls balls ballsballs balls balls balls ballsballs balls balls balls ballsballs balls balls balls ballsballs balls balls balls ballsballs balls balls balls ballsballs balls balls balls ballsballs balls balls balls ballsballs balls balls balls

    make some people happy.

  20. Gildorg 09/19/2011 20:23

    Wow… That is just disturbing.

    Sigh…

    I gots nothing…

    A drink or two, that is all for me. Got an appointment in the AM that I need to be non-hungover for…

    Cheers Gentlemen!

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