Lindsay Lohans dad was arrested again

Much like Mel Gibson before him, Michael Lohan was arrested last night in Florida for attacking his girlfriend after she refused to give him a blow job. Women really don’t seem to understand how awesome blowjobs are.

According to the police report, Lohan “grabbed and squeezed” (Kate) Major’s arms and repeatedly pushed her to the ground in Tuesday’s incident, leaving her bruised.
Police said they arrived to a tense scene between Lohan and Major.
“As we approached the door, we could hear a female yelling ‘Stop’ and ‘Leave me alone,'” police said, adding Lohan was “wearing only shorts, and was out of breath/sweating” when he answered the door.
“He immediately got defensive, saying, ‘Everything is OK and nothing happened here,'” police said. “The victim started yelling in the background for us to help her because he was lying. We separated the two at this time.”
Police reported that Major “was crying … afraid … shaking and having a hard time catching her breath” when they initially interviewed her.
“She had some redness on her arms with minor bruising on her arm and knee,” police said, adding her cell phone was destroyed.
Police said “the bathroom door [at their home appeared] to have a dent consistent with the height of the [Major’s] head.”

“This is why I replaced all my doors with ones made of solid oak,” said Mel Gibson when he read this. “You can take a sledgehammer to those things before they dent.”