BREAKING NEWS: Madonna is a narcissistic cunt

By brendon January 16, 2012 @ 4:46 PM

Madonna beat out Elton John to win the Golden Globe for Best Original Song last night, and, naturally, she used her acceptance speech as a chance to thank herself for being so wonderful. She spoke for less than 2 minutes, and 26 of the 204 words she used were some version of “I” or “me”.

0 of the words she used were some version of “we” or “our”.

This did not go unnoticed by the crowd who sat in silence every time she tried to be cute, or by Elton Johns husband David Furnish, who went on his Facebook and wrote:

“Madonna. Best song???? F**k off!!!”
“Madonna winning Best Original Song truly shows how these awards have nothing to do with merit. Her acceptance speech was embarrassing in its narcissism.”

But it was all worth it to hear Madonna tell the crazy story about how the song got made. First someone suggested she do it, and then she did it. What a wild ride! Only in Hollywood, you guys!


This is a surprise.
Um, umm, um… I’m not French I have no excuse. Thank you so much to the Hollywood Foreign Press for this acknowledgment.
I need to thank my co-writers; Jimmy Harry and Julie Frost. My co-producer, William Orbit, um, who is not here, who I adore, whom I adore.
I would also like to thank my manager, Guy Oseary, who I spend most of my time beating up on. But seriously, he harangued me for the entire time I was filming and editing my movie to write a song for the film and I said, ‘please Guy I’m trying to focus on being a director and I want people to pay attention to the film, and I don’t have time.’ So then I finished the film and I started making my record and somehow, magically, and miraculously, the song emerged; ‘Masterpiece’. So, um, thank you Guy Oseary, for being so irritating.
Of course I must thank my beautiful leading lady Andrea Riseborough who is sitting right in front of me, because truly her performance in my film is a masterpiece, and thank you so much.
Finally I’d like to thank Harvey Weinstein, the Punisher, that’s his nickname, the Punisher, yes, for believing in my film. Thank you Harvey.”

(15) Comments

  1. avatar
    dubbya 01/16/2012 16:48

    haha! She’s old and nobody likes her but the tired old scrods that pick the winners at the Globes.

  2. avatar
    Cocktail 01/16/2012 17:00

    Isn’t Madonna Lady Gaga’s mother?

  3. avatar
    SomeoneluvsU 01/16/2012 17:23

    Harvey Fierstein > Harvey Weinstein..

    And both are less manly than Madonna.

  4. avatar
    RangerLG 01/16/2012 17:25

    I’m beginning to think something was going on last night. Something about Golden Shower Globes? Seems to be lots of post about it. Glad I missed it since I smashed my TV after watching the playoffs.

  5. avatar
    Sweep The Leg 01/16/2012 17:27

    Wait, whose movie is it? I’m so confused.

  6. avatar
    Rok 01/16/2012 18:01

    I think I’m getting a boner

  7. avatar
    Burbank 01/16/2012 18:36

    No, she’s Gaga’s father.

  8. avatar
    Burbank 01/16/2012 18:36

    No, she’s Gaga’s father.

  9. avatar
    Allswell 01/16/2012 20:46

    1:43-1:46 Elton John yells out “BOOOOOOOO!” +1 Elton, +1

  10. avatar
    trent.steel 01/17/2012 09:35

    “I’m not French…” You’re not English either you washed up old whore. Stopping talking with the fake accent.

  11. avatar
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  14. avatar
    harleydavidson 01/18/2012 13:43

    who gives a fuck? she hasnt been relevant in fucking forever.

  15. avatar
    myocardial encephalogram 03/10/2012 00:50

    perhaps david furnish can have a trophy made at the local bowling ball store, like soccer mom’s do for their kids that lose. award for best performance at rush limbaugh’s fourth wedding.

    “his wife wasnt the only one gargling baby penises, resembling rumor willis’ nose, that night… what?!… no! you were the one gargling that night. it’s self deprecating. come here’n make the boo boo better… yeah? aaaaah… that’s right” would be engraved on said trophy

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