Movie award shows don't have to be boring and awful and tragically unfunny, Billy Crystal just makes it seem that way. Take the Independent Spirt Awards for example, which were held in Santa Monica on Saturday and hosted by Seth Rogen.
The video above has Crystals entire monologue from the Oscars last night and then a few examples from Rogen. As you can see, a Billy Crystal joke follows a simple two-step formula:
1. Say some random thing that he's heard of. 2. Smirk like an asshole.
Rogen on the other hand did things like compare Brett Ratner and the Oscars to Chris Brown and the Grammys:
"Seriously, you say a few hateful things and they don't let you within a hundred yards of the Oscars. You could literally beat the shit out of a nominee and they'll ask you to perform TWICE at the Grammys."
And brought up the murderous Jewish mobsters in ‘Drive':
"That movie made Jews look so scary I thought Mel Gibson directed it."
Come to think of it, whoever keeps letting Billy Crystal sing those Oscar medleys filled with idiotic puns might have some secret anti-Semitic agenda too. The hate those things inspire is almost irrational, it's like some kind of fever.