Lindsay caused her car crash, is in no trouble whatsoever

By brendon June 19, 2012 @ 3:55 PM


Here’s a brief history of Lindsay Lohan trying to kill every living thing on the roads in California (taken mostly from here):

October 4, 2005: Lindsay Lohan, then 19, crashes her Mercedes into the passenger side of a van that was pulling into traffic in West Hollywood. Lindsay, her passenger and the driver of the van were briefly hospitalized for minor injuries. She is not ticketed.

May 26, 2007: is arrested for drunk driving after crashing her Mercedes convertible in Beverly Hills at 5:30am. She then left the scene of the accident. Police also found a “usable” amount of cocaine in her car. It’s her third car crash in two years.

July 24, 2007: while high on cocaine, Lindsay goes on a high speed chase down Pacific Coast highway in a stolen GMC Denali, with the owner and two of his friends still in it, reaching speeds of 100 miles per hour, that ends when the woman whom Lindsay is chasing (her ex-assistant) calls Santa Monica police because she thinks Lindsay is going to kill her. Lindsay is arrested on five counts, including driving under the influence of alcohol, driving on a suspended license and possession of narcotics. Police again find cocaine, this time in her pocket. Lindsay tells police they aren’t her pants. She also tells police that she wasn’t the one driving, and blames it on, “the black kid.”

September 3, 2010: while driving a rented Maserati, she hits a stroller with a baby in it while pulling into traffic, then simply drives away.

Which brings us to her wreck on June 8th, when she drove into the back of an 18 wheeler and totaled her rented Porsche. Police have reportedly concluded that she caused the accident because she was speeding. Certainly they’ll do something about her by now, right?

“The investigation is almost complete, and Lindsay was speeding in the moments before the accident. She was probably going ten miles over the posted speed limit, which would have been around fifty miles per hour. There were no skid marks, which indicate that Lindsay was indeed speeding and didn’t have time to even hit the brakes before she crashed into the truck. Lindsay is truly lucky to be alive, and that no one else got seriously injured. Lindsay could be cited by the Santa Monica Police Department for causing the accident, but it doesn’t seem very likely.” 

So after all that other stuff, which doesn’t even include her multiple arrests for burglary and drugs and all that, she won’t even get a ticket. The police simply refuse to do anything at all about her. She will kill someone at some point, and they simply don’t give a fuck. They might as well sneak around at night putting cobras into cars.

(12) Comments

  1. avatar
    Honkey Dong 06/19/2012 17:57

    Don’t Porches have anti-lock brakes? That would also be a reason why there were no skid marks, dumbass.

  2. avatar
    The Mildly Tanned Knight 06/19/2012 19:10

    This is why many of us are counting the minutes until The Big One. California can’t fall into the ocean fast enough.

  3. avatar
    jondough 06/19/2012 20:19

    I’ll see you down in Arizona Bay.

  4. avatar
    Pugiron 06/19/2012 20:32

    This is because everyone, everything and every place in California sucks on a Florida/South Carolina level. I don’t care if you/your grandmother live there, you all suck too.

  5. avatar
    Eyes_Closed 06/19/2012 20:47

    No skidmarks…..?..

    …next time let ME check her undies…….

  6. avatar
    j4ck4l 06/19/2012 21:10

    She’s like a batman villain.

  7. avatar
    Tylerdurden389 06/19/2012 21:16

    Make sure OJ doesn’t see this track record.

  8. avatar
    Ever 06/19/2012 21:56

    ABS can still cause skid marks on the street, you fucking moron. Especially at 50+ mph.

    Someone kill this bitch.

  9. avatar
    Hugh G Rection 06/19/2012 22:03

    I’ve already got an application in for L.A. City morgue assistant. As soon as she kills herself, I’m pulling a “Last Dance with Mary Jane” on ole LiLo.

  10. avatar
    Mr. Nutt 06/20/2012 07:38

    Let the skid mark question be setteled once and for all.

    I would bet there were none because she wasn’t paying attention.

  11. avatar
    harleydavidson 06/20/2012 08:25

    oh hey look!

    i was hoping to hear about this two bit whore. it had been a while.

  12. avatar
    Stoned Raider 06/21/2012 07:36

    I’d feel safer with an actual cobra behind the wheel of a car than this goofball.

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