Friday Afternoon Headlines

By brendon January 25, 2013 @ 6:58 PM

mantiteo

OPIE AND ANTHONY – are offering $25,000 to any girl who can prove they had sex with Manti Te’o. Because even though he told Katie Couric yesterday that he was “far from gay”, being gay or a complete dumb fuck are the only possible explanations for the things he’s done. And that sweater. (opies twitter)

TINA TURNER – has apparently lived outside Zurich in Kuesnacht, Switzerland, since the mid 1990′s, is now renouncing her American citizenship and becoming a Swiss citizen. She hasnt given a statement or been interviewed about this yet, which is pretty amazing because how hard could it be to find Tina Turner in fucking Switzerland. (fox news)

STEVE WOZNIAK – is, of course, the co-founder of Apple, and he’s played by the great Josh Gad in the Steve Jobs movie starring Ashton Kutcher. After seeing the clip released yesterday, Wozniak said-and you may want to brace yourself- that they’re fucking everything up. “Not close…we never had such interaction and roles…I’m not even sure what it’s getting at.” To be fair that last part could describe most Ashton Kutcher performances. (gizmodo)

KATE UPTON – is in the January issue of Zoo magazine, but the pictures they use are actually from a shoot she did last year for a lingerie company. So I posted those instead. I also chopped some firewood and made those butterscotch cookies you like so much.

wwtdd

(5) Comments

  1. KirkTheJerk 01/25/2013 19:50

    Lennay’s gonna be soo pissed when she finds out he was talking to a girl for 500 hours.

  2. Conal 01/25/2013 20:41

    A Zoo magazine spread with Kate Upton wearing clothes is like buying a 4 cylinder Mustang. It’s fine, sure, but kinda missing the point.

  3. Honkey Dong 01/25/2013 23:58

    Kate Upton makes my tongue stiff!

  4. Tylerdurden389 01/26/2013 13:08

    Upton had her nose and tits done by the time she was 20. Look up old pics of her. She still has no hips or ass. Also she’s already showed us that she puts on weight easily. I give her 2, maybe 3 more years before anyone gives a shit about her anymore.

    And 7-10 more years until the”leaked’ porno video.

  5. AlronDelzeen 01/26/2013 13:17

    This girl has too much grease in her flab.

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