Wednesday Afternoon Headlines

By brendon January 23, 2013 @ 4:07 PM

rosie_huntiington_lingerie

ANGELINA JOLIE – might be pregnant again, meaning she and Brad Pitt will soon have their seventh child. To be honest I’m not even sure if that’s what the story said, it just seems like something they would do. (hollywood life)

BEYONCE – lip-synched yesterday at the inauguration for President Obama, but her ‘Destinys Child’ bandmate Michelle Williams was quick to defend her because of the crowd, possible echoes, and the enormity of the moment. Also because Beyonce sucks and needs everything filtered through a super computer that could make Stephen Hawking sound like Michael Crawford. (fox news)

‘THE CANYONS’ – has now been rejected by the Sundance Film Festival and SXSW, meaning that even the promise of Lindsay Lohan doing fully naked sex scenes can’t get them a release date. Maybe they should change their approach and say Lindsay isn’t naked after all, and you never see her saggy freckled tits even once, and replacing all her scenes with this Kate Upton gif. (hollywood reporter)

GREGORY MATTHEW BRUNI – was arrested in North Fort Myers, Florida, for taking his clothes off, breaking into a strangers home, masturbating, and taking a shit on the floor twice. Of course if the cops could explain how he’s supposed to masturbate and shit on the floor with his clothes on, I’d love to hear it. (huff post)

ROSIE HUNTINGTON-WHITELEY – is hot. I think. Or maybe not. Sometimes, like here, she looks great, but in real life it’s hard to tell. Especially since she got new drapes. What are those fucking things, lead? (marks and spencer lingerie photoshoot spring 2013)

wwtdd

(4) Comments

  1. avatar
    NautiusMaximus08 01/23/2013 16:58

    If you don’t know how to take a dook & pound one out with your clothes on, then you’re not trying hard enough.

  2. avatar
    The Mildly Tanned Knight 01/23/2013 20:49

    RHW is sexy, not pretty. She’s actually kind of fugly if she’s not done up, but she’s also eminently fuckable.

  3. avatar
    SigmaEW 01/24/2013 11:16

    Something about RHW’s face in some pictures makes me think RHW is a little bit retarded. Then I get self-conscious about jerking off to her, like I’m taking advantage of her by giving her some candy and talking about how cool “one direction” is.

  4. avatar
    LoK 01/24/2013 12:05

    you forgot to add that GREGORY MATTHEW BRUNI was also shot at while taking a dump or jerkin it – matrix style bath salts

    and I’ve never really liked RHW

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