Ashlee Simpson Drinks For All the Right Reasons

Remember six years ago when Joe Simpson promised that his girls would never end up in rehab like Britney Spears? Of course, you don’t, but I do. I can’t remember my ATM password or my mom’s birthday, but I do remember Joe’s Karmically tragic pronouncement. Well, it looks like Ashlee Simpson is in, or headed to, that particular place in the sun. Her ex Pete Wentz is threatening to take full custody of their kid together if Ashlee doesn’t sober up and quit partying like she’s a 20-something no-talent sometimes pop music singer forever in the shadow of her older sister, even though, yeah.

It’s hard to blame Ashlee for knocking back a few after the big reveal that her preacher dad loves dicks-only rainbow parties. So she’s got her parents divorce, her divorce, not to mention having had sex with Pete Wentz in the first place. Then she has to watch all the adulation upon her gargantuan sized older sister for now being a fat mommy icon despite merely being another unmarried knocked up minimally talented celebrity whose baby showers she has to attend every six months or so. Drinking might be a solid option. Bet she won’t hear that from the liars at rehab.

Photo Credit: Splash